


Just Friends?

by OhMyBellarke



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Best Friends, Clarke Griffin & Raven Reyes Friendship, F/M, Flashbacks, Friends to Lovers, Heartbreak, Jealous Bellamy Blake, Jealous Clarke Griffin, Jealousy, Minor Bellamy Blake/Gina Martin, Minor Emori/John Murphy (The 100), Minor Raven Reyes/Miles Ezekiel Shaw, Pining Bellamy Blake, Pining Clarke Griffin, Realization, Shaw the 100, Slow Burn, there will be smut later
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-26
Updated: 2020-10-06
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:35:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 24,369
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25528303
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OhMyBellarke/pseuds/OhMyBellarke
Summary: Best friends discovering there is more than friendship between them and how they navigate their feelings for one another without losing the friendship.A story about finding out that the one you are meant to be with was right there next to you all along.This story will contain flashbacks.
Relationships: Bellamy Blake/Clarke Griffin, Emori/John Murphy (The 100), Raven Reyes/Miles Ezekiel Shaw
Comments: 15
Kudos: 10





	1. Oh No!

**Author's Note:**

> Hey Everyone! 
> 
> This story was previously written as a Ben Hardy story on my tumblr Ben-Freaking-Hardy. Well I had this idea about writing this as a Bellarke story after Clarke announced she and Bellamy are "Best Friends" on the show. I have always loved the best friends to lovers type stories and that is one of my favorite things about Bellarke. I hope this story will help to tide you over till August 5th. I made some changes to the story and I hope you enjoy reading this!

**Prologue:**

It should not have to come to this. We should have never let happened have happened. There is a basic rule when hooking up. Never hook up with one of your best friends. It just causes so much drama which is not needed. It can also cause you or the other person to develop feelings. They can be the drop dead most gorgeous person in the whole bloody room, you just don't hook up with them! Plain and simple. Unlike myself who got stupidly drunk with him and decided to screw the rules and just have fun and wanting to let loose for one night. What could go wrong? Well let me tell you that is where I’m at now. I’m at the point where I cant decide if what we did was right or just completely wrong and just basically fucked up our friendship. That is why right now I’m quietly walking out of his apartment and hoping to not wake up his dog. Yes, I know you are probably wondering why are you sneaking out of his apartment. It’s because I’m a coward plain and simple. I honestly don't know if I could handle seeing his reaction when he wakes up this morning. A small part of me wants to see what might happen and might come from what happened but losing his friendship is not something I could handle. He is my best friend and the most important person in my life.


	2. Since High School

_1 Month Earlier_

“Did you see what she was wearing? My god I thought her breasts were going to pop out!”

“Bellamy honestly how are you shocked by this? You are a guy and there are a lot of guys out there who would have gladly been in your place if her boobs had fallen out.”

“Thanks Clarke! I’m glad you think so much of me” Bellamy said with disbelief while placing a hand over his heart.

“Aww you're welcome! Just calling it like I see it.”

“That is why I love you and your my best friend because you can be honest.”

I can see that your shocked by our conversation. Here we are having this conversation in a middle of a cafe. It is not just a cafe to us! It is called the Grounders cafe and it is where we have been coming for the past 10 years. Every Saturday morning to get a cup of coffee and to catch up. It’s not like we don't see each other other times but this is tradition to us! It would not feel right if we missed a day. Indra has been the owner ever since we have been coming and she is very close to us. She loves us if we were her own children. Her daughter Gaia is one of our good friends as well. So lets just say Indra is very familiar with our conversations to say the least. There has never been a conversation that we haven't had that wasn't like this. I guess you could say that we are just comfortable with each other and have been since high school.

I can still remember the day when I met him.

_10 Years ago_

_I was in the library during lunch studying for an english exam that was happening next period. I didn't get the chance to study the night before because my best friend Raven decided to call me and vent about her boyfriend and their troubles. You could say I spent majority of the night helping her and trying to calm her down._

_**Note to future self:** Never answer the phone when you need to study! _

_“Well hey there. You look like you need something to help you relax!” A voice said as it pulled me out of my thoughts._

_I looked up and I saw the most beautiful boy I had ever laid eyes on. He has an olive skin complexion, black curly hair with brown eyes and freckles around his face. He is also very lean._

_Did I mention the lips? He has the most kissable lips. I mean who wouldn't want to get the chance to taste them! I should probably say something before he thinks I’m an idiot. So I said the most logical thing that came to mind._

_“What?”_

_I mentally face palm myself._

_He laughed and gave a small smile. “I said you look like you could use something to help you relax.”_

_“Oh, right and yeah I wish I could relax but I have a huge english exam next period and I didn't get the chance to study last night. So here I am trying to cram everything last minute.”_

_“Let me guess. Boyfriend issues?”_

_“No!”_

_“How about family issues?”_

_“What is wrong with you and no. If you must know, I had a friend call me last night needing my advice about something.”_

_“Oh, well I’m sorry! Would you want some help? I’m good in both english and history.” he asked._

_I hesitated but something about him screamed I could trust him. “Sure if you want.”_

_“Well lets see what you got here and hopefully I can help.” he said taking a seat across from me at the table._

_I handed him a piece of paper I was studying from and he immediately looked like a kid in the candy shop._

_“We got this! By the time this lunch period is over with, you will be a master in knowing The Odyssey by Homer!”_

_“Oh no! Don't tell me you are a nerd about this story!”_

_“Well, I hate to burst your bubble but yes, I actually really like this story! Don't be so loud don’t wanna alert the nerd patrol on me!” he said jokingly_

_I laughed and he gave me a smile in return._

_“Well, we wouldn't want that would we!” I held up my hand to my mouth joking back._

_So the next hour he taught me everything that I needed to know about The Odyssey. He taught me key things to remember and the little ways to remember them._

_RING RING_

_“Well that was the bell. I guess I shall go see my fate. Thanks again for your help! You didn't have to but you did and that means a lot. So thanks again! I’ll see you around…” I reached out my hand for his to shake_

_“Bellamy. My name is Bellamy. Bellamy Blake. What’s your name?” he said grabbing my hand._

_“Clarke. Clarke Griffen”_

_As our hands connected I felt a tingle. I didn't think anything of it after that moment but I could have sworn Bellamy felt it as well since he gave a small smile._

_“Well, it was a pleasure to meet you Clarke and it was no problem. I hope to see you around!” he then turned and left the library._

_I turned my gaze away from watching him leave to pack up my notes in my book bag and then left to see what my fate was._

_As I took my seat in my english class and waited for everyone to arrive and for the bell to ring to signal for the class to begin, I was looking over my study guide one last time._

_“Well, long time no see Clarke!” I looked up right away and turned to my left and there was Bellamy sitting next to me._

_I immediately gave him a smile._

_This boy has a power over me like no tomorrow._

_I never got a chance to study one last time because he and I talked till the teacher called class to order. While the teacher was talking, I looked over to Bellamy and he looked over to me. He gave me a smile and also a wink then turned back to the teacher_

“Clarke, Clarke are you even listening to me?”

“What? Sorry I must have zoned out for a minute. Tell me again what you were saying.”

“As I was saying before someone wanted to expire to dreamland, there is this girl that I met the other night when I went to the Shallow Valley bar with Murphy and well she and I are going on our first date tonight.”

It felt as if I couldn't breathe. I have no idea why I started feeling like this all of a sudden.

“Oh, that is really amazing Bellamy. I’m happy for you!”

Even though I wasn’t!

“Thanks! Her name is Gina. She is really cool. Honestly, I think she could be the one!”

Another punch in the gut!

“She sounds lovely! I cant wait to meet her!"

Another lie. Honestly what was wrong with me. Why can’t I be happy for Bellamy! I have seen him with different women over the years but for some reason this one was messing with my mind the most.

“Well I hate to cut this short but I have to go. Raven needed my help with something today. I’m sorry!”

“It’s ok and no worries. I’m glad we still got to meet up today. Text me and maybe we can hang tomorrow.” Bellamy said looking shocked and yet not fazed at all.

“I will. Good luck with your date tonight and let me know how it goes.”

“Oh I will!”

Crap!

I smiled and waved goodbye to him.

Once, I was outside the cafe it felt like I could breathe again. It felt like I was holding my breath and I could finally let it out. As I was walking to my car I decided not to let that Tia girl or whatever name was bother me. I was about to hangout with Raven and I know she will help to turn my mood around! 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading so far and and I hope you enjoying it! 
> 
> I plan to have the next chapter up hopefully on Tuesday!


	3. You Don't Realize It Do You!

As I drove to Raven’s apartment, I tried putting the thought of Bellamy going on a date tonight out of my head. The thought just wouldn't go away. It kept nagging at me till I decided to turn on the radio to see if that will help. Even the radio didn't seem to help my mood either. It’s like lets play all the love and heartbreak songs there are. Thankfully, I arrived at Raven’s place so I didn’t have to listen to the stupid radio anymore.

I swear sometimes the radio picks up on your mood and plays songs that match it!

I knocked on Raven's front door and waited for her to answer. She answered after a couple of seconds.

“Hey girl. How are you?” Raven asked as we went in for a hug.

“I’m good. Same old same old. What about you? Anything new in the world of Raven?”

She just shrugged “Nothing really. Thanks for coming over to help me pack. Shaw would have but he is out having lunch with his mom.”

Did I mention that Raven is dating Shaw. One of Bellamy’s good friends. When those two get together you better watch out. Bellamy met Shaw his freshman year in college. They met on the first day due to being assigned roommates. That was a mistake! They clicked right from the start. During the fall semester of freshman year the frat that both Bellamy and Shaw had pledged was going to host a Halloween party. Bellamy had invited both Raven and I to come. Well, the second Shaw’s eyes landed on Raven, it was love at first sight. It had also been love at first sight for Raven as well. They have been smitten ever since. They have the kind of relationship that you always dream about. 

The reason why I’m helping Raven is because she is packing up her apartment and moving out to move in with Shaw. They have been together for several years now. It is only a matter of time before Shaw proposes to her. 

We walked into Raven’s room. She had cardboard boxes everywhere and on the sides of the boxes she had written words on them detailing what the boxes were for. 

“So, I was thinking that maybe we can start with some clothes from my closet. You can tell me which outfits I need to keep and which ones you think I should throw away. Does that sound good?”

“Sounds perfect”

“Great! Lets get started because you know I have tons of clothes and it will probably take most of the day to go through them.”

I walked over to Raven’s bed and sat down. Raven began pulling out various outfits out of her closet.

She isn't lying when she says she has a lot of clothes. Whenever there is a good deal at one of her favorite stores you can bet she will be there the day it starts.

“How about this one?” she said holding up an old blouse. It was light blue short sleeve shirt with clouds all around it.

I scrunched up my nose “No! That thing is ugly. What were you thinking?”

“It was on sale.”

“Sale or not. That does not mean you need to buy it!”

“Yes it does!”

“Raven!” I half yelled.

“Ok fine. I’ll put it in the throw away pile. Don't get your panties in a twist.”

“What about this one?”

She held up a sleeveless burgundy neck halter top. 

“Shaw would die if he saw you in that. I think you need to keep that one for sure.” I said.

“So do I! By the way Shaw has seen me in it. I wore it on one of our dates. It gave us a very memorable night”

“Oh, I’m sure it was! I don’t need to know the details.”

She and I spent a good couple of hours going over her outfits. It was never ending and I don't even think we had made a dent yet.

“How was Bellamy doing this morning?”

Crap! 

Raven just had to ask me about him. Now I was reminded of that stupid date again.

I must have taken to long to answer because Raven turned around from digging in her closet to see what the silence was about.

I was quickly trying to think of something to say back and to make sure that there wasn't anything bothering me. 

“He’s good.”

Yeah that didn't sound very convincing.

“Just good? Clarke really? Whenever I ask that you always get the biggest smile on your face and then start telling me everything about the boy.”

“I do not get that big of a smile on my face. What do you want me to tell you? He's good. There really isn't anything new with him other then going on a date tonight.” I said nonchalantly while looking down and pretending to be picking at my top. 

Do I really get that make that big of a smile?

“Oh, Clarke. I’m so sorry! If I had known I would not have asked.” 

“No worries. It’s not that big of a deal.” 

“Are you sure? You do not seem fine.”

I forgot to mention Raven is the master of reading people.

“I’m fine. You don't need to worry.” I said hoping she will drop the topic.

“You don't realize it do you?” Ravan now said.

“Realize what?”

I could feel my heart starting to beat faster. It’s like that moment where you are about to find out something major and your body has the fight or flight response kick in.

“Clarke, you are in love with him! You probably have been since the day you met him”

What?

No!

That's not possible!

Bellamy and I are just Best Friends!

I stopped pretending to pick at my top and looked back up to her “I’m not in love with Bellamy!” I said with conviction. 

Raven walked over to me and sat down next to me on the bed and then laid her hand on my arm “Honey, yes you are! You just don't see it yet. You will in time and I have a feeling you already are starting to.” 

“I doubt it. Are we done here for the day because I need to get back home and call my dad. He wanted me to call him sometime today”

My dad didn't need for me to but for some reason I just wanted to leave. I just came up with the first excuse that had popped into my head. 

Raven didn't seem like she believed the excuse but she just let it slide “Clarke, I didn't mean to make you upset. I hope you know that. You know I care about you.”

I grabbed her hand and squeezed it “I know you do. Don't worry everything is good”

“If you say so. Drive home safely and I’ll talk to you later”

I hugged her goodbye.

I could also tell when I was leaving that she didn't think I was fully fine but I didn't know what else to tell her.

Once I stepped outside Raven’s apartment, I had the same feeling I had after I left the cafe earlier. I had the feeling of where I couldn't breathe. It felt like I was having a panic attack but I wasn’t. I don't know what that feeling was but it definitely wasn't that I was in love with Bellamy.

We are just best friends and thats it!

Yes, people have always told us in the past that we would make a perfect couple but we would just shrug them off.

Me more so than Bellamy.

Thank you Raven for putting that stupid thought in my head.

___________________________________________________________________

Later that night after I got home, I was watching some random movie on Netflix. It was a romance movie called When We First Met. Yes, I know why am I watching a sappy romance comedy? Everyone loves a good romance story especially if it ends in a happy ending. After awhile what I thought would be a good idea for a movie to watch, it wasn’t!

Halfway during the movie I kept thinking about Bellamy and his date.

All my thoughts entailed:

Was the date going well?

What did the date entail doing?

Would they take it back to his or her place?

Will there be a second date?

It was like a never ending loop in my head.

Out of all those thoughts though was the fact that I knew deep down that I was hoping that his date wouldn't go well.

Was I a horrible person for thinking that?

It was probably pathetic that I can still remember when I found out when he had a girlfriend for the first time.

_9 Years Ago_

_“Hey, did you hear about Monty and Harper?” Bellamy asked me as he walked up to me by my locker_

_“Well hello to you to and no what happened?” I asked as I was grabbing books out of my locker_

_“They were caught by Mr. Kane behind the bleachers on the football field smoking pot”_

_I just shrugged “Thats what you get for smoking pot on campus”_

_“Damn Clarke! Be blunt why don't you”_

_“Well it is my specialty didn't you hear?”_

_He held his hands up in mock surrender “Oh ok she's sarcastic as well!”_

_I just looked over to him and winked and he just let out a small smile and let out a little laugh._

_“Hey you!” a voice says behind Bellamy._

_Bellamy turned around and all I could tell was that he got excited for whoever it was because he immediately hugged them._

_After they hugged Bellamy turned back around to face me. He reached his arm around the person behind him and pulled them to stand right next to him. Whoever this girl was, it wasn't his sister Octavia._

__I felt the smile slip from my face._ _

_She was gorgeous. She is tall, has light brown eyes and dirty blonde hair._

_She already bugged me._

_“Clarke, I would like to introduce to you my girlfriend Echo. Echo, this is my best friend Clarke.”_

_Did he just say girlfriend?_

_Seriously, he never told me about this girl and he tells me everything. He knows I hate being blindsided._

_“It’s really nice to meet you Echo.” I put my hand out for her to shake_

_“Likewise! Bellamy has told me so much about you! I feel like I already know you. I’m hoping we can be friends. I would hate to put a strain on the close friendship that you guys have!” she said while shaking my hand._

_“Aww thank you! I wish I could say I knew about you as well but see here Bellamy never mentioned you. I’m sorry!” I said with a sarcastic tone._

_I could see out of the corner of my eye that Bellamy gave me a what the fuck look._

_Echo just gave me a smile and shrugged “It’s okay. Bellamy probably didn't know how to tell you”_

_Yeah keep telling yourself that honey._

_Echo turned her gaze to Bellamy and placed her hand on his arm_ _“Well anyway, Bellamy we have to get going. I told my friend Josephine we would meet up with her before class started so she can meet you.”_

_“Alright sounds good! I’ll see you later in English Clarke.”_

_He waved goodbye and I waved back. I watched them walk off together. He had his left arm around her shoulders. He must have told her a joke because I could hear her laughter from down the hall._

_As I watched them leave a part of me felt like something was just taken from me, the only thing was Bellamy wasn't mine to claim._

_Bellamy wasn't mine!_

Shit!

SHIT!

I quickly got up out of my chair and grabbed my cell phone out of my purse.

I dialed Raven’s number. She finally answered after four rings. It felt like forever.

“Hey Clarke, Whats up?”

I could hear her television in the background.

“Raven?” I said softly.

I felt like I almost couldn't speak. My mouth had gotten dry all of a sudden. 

Sensing something was wrong, I heard Raven mute the television. 

“Clarke are you ok? You sound upset?” with a concerned tone.

“No! I’m not ok! I don't think I will be!” I said with a tremor in my voice. 

I could feel my pulse starting to race. 

“What’s wrong?”

“I can’t…….”

I all of a sudden couldn't breathe. My hand that was gripping the phone while I was talking to her was getting sweaty. I could feel my heart pounding. I could feel my pulse beating from my ears. I could feel tears building up in my eyes due to the prickliness.

The realization of what I was about to tell her was hitting me like a ton of bricks.

“Can’t want? Clarke you are starting to scare me! Do you need me to come over?” 

“I can’t watch……” 

I took a deep breath.

“I can’t watch……”

“Can’t watch what Clarke? Take a deep breath and tell me. Do I need to come over. Just say the words!”

Breathe Clarke.

Just Breathe!

I can do it!

I can say those words!

I closed my eyes.

I took one more deep breath.

I opened my eyes.

I gripped the phone tighter.

“I’m.…I’m in love with him.”

“I’m in love with Bellamy!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again for reading!
> 
> The next chapter should be posted this weekend.


	4. You Have To Tell Him!

“I’m….. I’m in love with him."

"I’m in love with Bellamy!”

“Don’t move. I’ll be right there!” She then hung up.

I said those 5 little words and yet they held so much power over me.

I didn't want to believe them and think it was possible that I have always been in love with him.

Have I always been that oblivious with it?

How could everyone around me see it and I couldn’t!

Could Bellamy see it?

A couple minutes later, I heard a knock on my front door. I went to open the door and Raven immediately pulled me in for a hug.

“Aww honey it will be ok!”

Will it?

Will it be ok?

I stepped out of her hug and closed the door behind her.

“How can it be ok? I’m in love with my best friend. Who is currently on a date tonight this very second!” I said as Raven put her arm around me as we sat down on my couch.

“Clarke, breathe! Who knows how the date could go. It could go bad and they never see each other again or it didn't last more than an hour.”

“Please, this is Bellamy we are talking about!”

“Clarke, you have to stop thinking with what if's. It will only cause you to drive yourself mad. Trust me I’ve been there. I know it's easier said then done but worrying about it won't help!”

“How do I even face him now? I don't know if I can face him knowing that I'm in love with him. I’m going to have to start avoiding him. There is no other way.”

I could feel the prickliness of the tears forming behind my eyes.

“Clarke, that is stupid and you know it! So, you are just going to toss years of friendship out the door because your in love with him? Plus, you know Bellamy won’t let you do that. He would wonder what's wrong or if he had done something.”

“To make matters worse, he is supposed to call me tomorrow to tell me how tonight went. How am I supposed to listen to him talk about it? I don't think I can handle it!”

“You will handle it. You know why I know? It’s because I know you are strong and can get through this! I will be right there, right beside you and holding your hand.”

“Thanks!”

“Clarke, you know I would do anything for you! Your like a sister to me! Your family! I’ve known you since we met in kindergarten. I will always be there for you.”

"Thanks and same goes for you as well!"

An hour later Raven and I were watching a show and I felt my phone vibrate.

**Bellamy:** Hey, I know it's probably late but you will never believe the night I just had! Gina is truly amazing! I know it has only been one date but I think she could be the one!

Shit!

He just had to text me now after I managed to calm down and finally stopped crying.

I showed the message to Raven.

“You probably don't want to hear this but I think you should tell him how you feel. I know you probably also don't want to hear this either but you never know where it could lead! What is the worst that could happen?" 

“Well for starters, I could lose him! He could stop talking to me for awhile and focus on what's her name, if it goes somewhere. He could……."

“Clarke, stop thinking negatively! You have to stop that! I doubt you will lose Bellamy!”

“You never know. I do know that I can't tell him! He sounded really happy in that text.”

“Bellamy is always like this when he meets a new girl and it goes well. I doubt this one is any different.”

“He said she could be the one! When has he ever said that?”

“Well……"

“Exactly! He has never used those words before.”

“I still think you should tell him!”

“I’m not going to tell him and thats final! I would rather have him as a best friend then nothing. Having to see him with another girl is what I’m going to have to do!”

“Clarke, stop being so selfless. So what if you tell him? I seriously doubt you will lose him!”

“Raven, please don't fight me on this! It’s final and I wont change my mind!”

I looked back down at my phone and the text message Bellamy sent. 

_She could be the one!_

Those five words he put in that text message screaming at me over and over.

I typed back a reply and hit send before I changed my mind. 

**Clarke:** Cant wait to hear.

_______________________________________________

The next morning, as I waited for Bellamy to call me, I kept thinking about if Raven was right about me telling Bellamy how I feel about him. The only thing was, is that there are a couple of different scenarios that could happen.

I tell him and he stops talking to me

I tell him and he gets distant and he focuses all his attention on her

I tell him and he gets distant but comes back after awhile but it will be tense with us

I tell him and it doesn't faze him at all and we continue as if nothing was said.

I just feel sick to my stomach just thinking about it!

Why couldn't my life be simpler and I didn't fall in love with him and I didn't have any issues with her.

Why did I have to fall for him?

Life sucks sometimes.

Just when you think you have everything and nothing could take it away from you, here comes the dark cloud wanting to rain on your parade.

_**“Don't you hear my call though you're many years away** _

_**Don't you hear me calling you** _

_**Write your letters in the sand”** _

I hear my phone ring playing ’39 by Queen.

That must be Bellamy calling me. Well, let's get this over with!

“Hello?” 

“Good morning Clarke. How are you doing?”

Well, just a girl who just realized that she is in love with her best friend. Nothing out of the ordinary.

Oh wait, thats me!

“Oh, nothing really. Same old, same old. How are you doing?”

“I have never been better! Clarke, I meant what I said last night when I texted you. I think Gina could be the one……."

Well it started!

“She is perfect! She gets my jokes and actually laughs at them, she cares about what I have to say. She wants to meet everyone especially you! She even told me that she wants to meet you before meeting the others!"

“Me? Why me out of everyone? She doesn't want to meet Raven, Shaw, Emori, Murphy or even Octavia first?”

“Yes, she wants to meet you first. She knows how important you are to me. I told her all about you and she isn't jealous that you are my best friend. She actually thinks it's cool that we have been best friends without getting feelings for one another or hooking up!”

Yeah about that!

“Well, she sounds amazing Bell! Anyway I have to go but just text me.”

“Oh ok. Well have a good day.” If I didn't know better he sounded upset that I had to cut the call short.

Why would he be?

He's the one that has the “perfect” girl

“Thanks. You too! Bye.”

“Bye.”

After I hung up, I got up from where I was sitting on the couch and walked over to stand at my window facing the street. I just stood looking out. I saw families, friends laughing with their friends, people walking their dogs and cars passing by. It felt like I was a person sitting in a theatre watching this scene play out in a movie. The only thing was, I'm the main star!

Raven is wrong!

There is possibly no way I can tell him. I can't wreck what him and Gina could have. I know I’m sacrificing my own happiness but knowing that Bellamy is happy then I will be happy for him! 

Will it be hard seeing them together?

You bet it will but I have to put aside my feelings and let them be.

_8 years ago_

_Bellamy and I were sitting in the library studying for a Biology exam we had next period._

_“What is the cell membrane?” I asked Bellamy._

_“Double-layer of phospholipids that forms a boundary between a cell and the surrounding environment.”_

_“Correct! What is the difference between prokaryotes and eukaryotes?”_

_“Prokaryote does not have a nucleus and eukaryote does contain a nucleus.”_

_“You got it! What is it…"_

_“What's going on between you and McCreary? You guys seemed pretty cozy the other day in class.”_

_I looked up at Bellamy and he was looking down at his phone avoiding eye contact with me._

_Was he jealous?_

_“I have no idea. We are just friends. Just like you and I are. McCreary just loves teasing me. Plus you know he's a flirt!”_

_“Exactly! He's a flirt. He might be trying to get into your pants!”_

_“So what if he was? Is there anything wrong with that? I don't want to be a virgin the rest of my life. Why does it matter? Your not a virgin!”_

_“Clarke, I care about you and I feel like he wants to tap you and be done. It has everything to do with your virgintiy because I don't want you to have it taken by a jerk! Trust me he is playing you! You will get your heart broken!”_

_“Well, do you see anyone else lining up to have sex with me? I’m not exactly hot. Look at me. I’m not the skinniest person. I have pale skin, blue eyes, a dimpled chin, and blonde hair._ _I’m not exactly a girl that guys would line up to date!”_

_Shit! Now my eyes are starting to tear up._

_“I do see you!” he said so low that was almost a whisper_

_“What?”_

_He looked up._

_“I said you shouldn't have to prove yourself! Aww Clarke don't start crying! Come here.”_

_Bellamy got up out of his chair and walked over to my side of the table and pulled me into a hug. His right hand started running up and down my back._

_“Trust me Clarke. Any guy would be lucky enough to be with you! Your perfect! Never force yourself trying to impress someone. The right guy will come around.”_

_“Thanks Bellamy but you don't have to worry. I will be ok and trust me I can protect myself from McCreary!”_

_I could feel Bellamy tighten his hold around me. I’m starting to wonder if he was jealous._

_Bellamy jealous, please!_

_Who am I kidding. Bellamy isn't jealous. He is just being protective. Though a part of me wishes he was. I do wonder what it would be like if he saw me with a guy._

_I stepped out of Bellamy’s arms and wiped my eyes. After wiping my eyes, I started packing up all my notes and books._

_“Clarke, what are you doing? We haven't finished studying yet.”_

_“I have to go use the bathroom. I rather not have to go during class.”_

_Lie!_

_I just needed to get out of there._

_“Well I guess I will see you in class. See you then!”_

_“Laters.” I waved goodbye_

_Once I stepped out of the library, I went to the left and walked till I turned the corner and stopped. I leaned my back against the wall._

_I took a deep breath._

_Why couldn't Bellamy look at me like I was worth something. Something more than a friend. What I couldn't give to have him look at me the way he looks at girls he is trying to impress._

_All I know was how good it felt to be in Bellamy’s arms._

_It felt like I belonged in them!_

_Why was life cruel sometimes?_

What was ironic about that moment was Bellamy ended up being right. McCreary the whole time had been playing me and tried to have sex with me. He was trying to prove to his buddies that he could seduce and screw a virgin. Luckily he was never able to get into my pants.

Thinking back to that moment was when I had been aware of my feelings for Bellamy. It was also then that I must have also blocked out my feelings for him as well. 

Until now!

I felt my phone vibrate and I looked down and saw Raven had texted me.

**Raven:** Hey! Have you spoken to Bellamy yet? If you have, how did it go?

**Clarke:** Yes, I just got off the phone with him! Raven, I can’t ever tell him how I feel because he was really happy and I can’t ruin that!

**Raven:** Aww Clarke. It will be ok. I’m here for you! Do you want me to come over or would you want to come over?

**Clarke:** Thanks! No, I’m going to have a me day and read a book that I have been wanting to read. Maybe I can escape this world for awhile.

**Raven:** Ok! Well, if you need me just give me a call! 

I thought back to the memory I just thought off. I always wondered what would have happened if McCreary didn't turn out to be an ass.

Would McCreary and I still be together at this moment?

Would Bellamy be jealous?

Was Bellamy jealous of McCreary flirting with me then?


	5. Do I or Do I Not?

The next few weeks seemed to fly right past me. I got on with life as if I never discovered my feelings. Raven or Octavia kept telling me to suck up my fear of what might go wrong and just see what happens. I kept ignoring them. I know a part of me knows that they are both right deep down. I just know I couldn't do that to Bellamy. Especially now that he and Gina have gotten closer. It hasn't happened yet but he is going to call her his girlfriend soon. I would know because Octavia and I had accidentally bumped into the two of them at the movies.

_Two Weeks Ago_

_Octavia and I are going to go see **Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald**. As she and I were walking to our theatre, she had noticed that there was a couple in front of us and the guy looked like her brother Bellamy. _

_Realizing that it was him, being her nosy self she called to him._

_Bellamy turned around and saw that it was us._

_He grabbed his date's hand and they walked over to us “Hey Octavia and Clarke. I would like to introduce someone to you! Guys, this is Gina. Gina, this is my sister Octavia and this is my best friend Clarke!”_

_As Bellamy introduced us, I noticed that he looked at me a long time._

_It felt like I had something on my face._

_"So this is the famous Clarke that I have heard so much about! It's nice to finally put a face to the name." Gina said smiling at me._

_All I could do was smile at her and wave._

_Sensing my discomfort, Octavia quickly took the attention away from me “It is very nice to meet you Gina! My dear brother here has told me some good things about you.”_

_"Aw Bellamy!" Gina said while grabbing Bellamy's hand and giving Bellamy a sweet smile._

_Bellamy turned to look at her and gave her a smile as well and then turned back to facing Octavia and I._

_“I didn't know you guys were coming to the movies today. What movie are you guys seeing?” Bellamy asked._

_He looked over to me and gave me a small smile._

_I returned the smile back to him. It hurt to physically look at him. So I turned my attention away from him and focused on the other moviegoers passing us by. I have been avoiding Bellamy as much as possible since he called me the morning after his date. I know it is childish but it is how I’m dealing with the situation._

_“Yeah, it was a last minute thing. We are seeing Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald. What about you guys?” Octavia answered._

_“Well, isn’t that funny! Gina and I are seeing the same movie”_

_Shit!_

_Please don't suggest to sit near us!_

_“Thats cool!” Octavia replied._

_“Would you guys like to sit next to us?” Gina asked_

_Octavia, for the love of god please say no!_

_“That is really sweet of you to ask but we wouldn't want to interrupt yall’s date! It was good seeing you dear brother and it was nice meeting you Gina. Since it's almost time for the movie to begin, I think Emma and I should go grab our seats.”_

_I turned my attention back to Bellamy and Gina. I smiled at Gina even though it wasn't a real smile._

_It's the thought that is what counts, right?_

_I then turned to look at Bellamy and it felt like time stood still. He was looking at me. He had a puzzled look on his face. I could tell he was trying to figure out what wrong with me. I gave him a small smile and a tiny wave and then walked off with Octavia._

_As we took our seats in the theatre, Octavia turned to me. “Clarke, I love you but you could have said something. I mean Bellamy was looking at you the whole time trying to get your attention and you kept staring into space. I know that seeing him with Gina was hard but you could have been nicer to him!”_

_“I know I should have but I panicked. I finally saw the girl who he might be practically in love with and it just stung! I cant fully face it yet! Wait, what do you mean he was staring at me the whole time?”_

_“He was staring at you trying to figure out why you were not saying anything and let alone acknowledging him! If I had to guess the way he was looking at you wasn't a friendship look. It was more of a I think I might be secretly in love with you look.”_

_“Oh, please! Bellamy is not in love with me! If he was, I would be in Gina’s position.”_

_“I think he actually might be in love with you. He probably is like you. He is not trying to do anything that could potentially risk the friendship!”_

_“Trust me he is not in love with me!”_

_Right as I said that, we saw Bellamy and Gina walk in and take their seats. Two rows down from us and to the right._

_During the movie, I kept watching them. I tried not to but my curiosity got the better of me. At one point, I even saw him make the move of putting his around around her. Couple seconds later, she laid her head down on his arm. He then kissed her head._

_I could feel my heart breaking but I couldn't stop watching them. I was watching what I wished I could have with him. Octavia must have noticed that I was staring at them because she nudged me._

_“You have to stop staring at them! It will only hurt you more!” she whispered._

_“I know!” I whispered back_

_After that day, I can see why he is so smitten by her. She is beautiful! She has curly brown hair with brown eyes and is average height. She also has the perfect figure. She isn't skinny but she is toned._

As I was taken a sip of my tea while watching the morning news, I felt my phone vibrate on the seat next to me.

 **Bellamy:** I miss you Clarke!

 **Bellamy:** I don’t like this! I hate when we don’t talk!

 **Bellamy:** I know we didn't know we would see each other at the movies but it was really good to see you that day!

 **Bellamy:** Just please talk to me! I wanna fix this. I don't even know what happened. Did I do or say anything?

 **Bellamy:** Shaw, Murphy and Wells all think I need to come to your place and I demand you speak to me.

More like Shaw suggested that because he is Mr. Romantic!

Do I or Do I not respond?

My finger hovered over the send button.

All of a sudden it felt like my thumb had a mind of its own.

 **Clarke:** I miss you too!

I took a deep breath. It did feel good to send those words to him. It is true! I do miss him a lot!

I’m just protecting my heart!

 **Bellamy:** Tell me what I did wrong? Did I upset you in anyway?

 **Clarke:** You did nothing wrong! I just have been really stressed lately. I needed to focus on myself for awhile.

 **Bellamy:** You still could have told me! I could have helped you! Are you ok now?

 **Clarke:** I know but this isn't something I want to tell you. I’m getting there.

 **Bellamy:** Good! I’m glad things are looking up. If you ever need to talk or decide to let me know what's been bothering you, I’m just a phone call or text away!

 **Clarke:** Thanks!

Later that day, I was out shopping with Raven and Shaw.

They were looking for things for their apartment.

While I was looking at the different coffee makers, I noticed that Shaw had walked over to me and had left Raven in the bedding area.

“You know he is an idiot right!” Shaw told me nonchalantly.

I stopped and turned to him.

“Who is?” I asked confused

“Seriously Clarke! Bellamy!”

Lord! Here we go! Raven must have told him all about my heartbreak saga.

“Oh!” I turned back to looking at the coffee makers.

I didn't want him to see me start to get teary eyed.

“Aww Clarke I’m sorry! I didn't mean to make you sad!” He pulled me into a hug.

“I know! I hate that it hurts. I wish I could move on and find someone else.”

“You can’t help who you fall for. Love is truly a battlefield.”

I stepped out of his hold.

“You seriously did not just quote that song Love is a battlefield!”

He gave me a cheeky smile “Damn right I did!”

I started laughing.

It was that laugh you get where you start laughing but then you get teary eyed because you can't stop. Then your stomach starts to hurt because you cant breathe.

It was one of those feel good laughs that you just need after awhile.

“I’m glad that I made you smile and laugh.”

He gave me a smile but then looked at me seriously.

“But I’m serious! He truly is an idiot. Everyone can see it!”

I stopped laughing.

I looked at him curiously “Can see what?”

“That he is in love with you!”

Him too! What was with Octavia and Shaw thinking he is in love with me?

My heart dropped. I could feel my palms getting sweaty. I could feel my breathing pick up. It felt like I was having a panic attack.

“What?”

“Clarke, anyone can see it! That boy is in love with you!"

“No, hes not!” I had to look away.

I turned look in the opposite direction of the aisle. 

I tried focusing on anything that would catch my attention. It wasn't working.

I felt like I couldn't breathe. I tuned everything else. Even Shaw.

My heart was beating so fast.

It just couldn't be possible! 

Bellamy might be in love with me! 

Later that night, while I was reading a book, I felt my phone vibrate.

 **Bellamy:** I know I’m the last person you want to talk to right now but I’m throwing a party next Saturday and I would really like it if you came!

That's the last thing I need right now. I should not be around Bellamy when I’m drinking alcohol.

On the other hand, maybe this will be a good time to get myself out there and find a new guy.

Before I could respond back to Bellamy, Raven had texted me.

 **Raven:** Cancel any plans you have next Saturday! I know you just got invited to Bell’s party. Don't even try to deny it! You are going and thats final.

Shit!

 **Raven:** All of us will be there for you! Shaw, Emori, Murphy, Octavia, Wells and I all have your back. We won’t leave your side that night.

 **Clarke:** You better not leave my side at all!

 **Raven:** We are going shopping Friday night. Your ass is going to look amazing! Bellamy is going to wish he was with you!

Shaw’s words came back to me.

He is in love with you!

Was Shaw and Octavia right?

Was Bellamy in love with me?

I really wanted to believe him but I just don't want to cause anymore heartache to myself.

Plus if he was truly in love with me then why is he with Gina?

_7 Years Ago_

_Bellamy and I were hanging out in his bedroom after school one day._

_We were watching a random show off Netflix from his laptop._

_We were also sharing a big bowl of popcorn between us._

_“I can’t believe you finally have a date tomorrow! I thought I would never see the day!” Bellamy said._

_I turned to look at him. I t_ _ook a handful of popcorn that we were sharing and thew it at this head._

_“Be nice!” I tried not to smile._

_“What? I’m just saying I’m glad Cillian got the courage to finally ask you out! It was about time!” he said while trying to pick up all the pieces of popcorn around him._

_I looked at him and gave him a pointed look_ _“Well, he might have sooner if someone didn't give him a panic attack about asking me out!”_

_Bellamy threw his hands up in the air._

_“It's the duty of your best friend to be protective!”_

_“I know and I love you for it but please don't keep doing it!”_

_“I promise I wont!”_

_“Thank you!”_

_“So where is he taking you for the date?” he asked while turning his attention back to the show._

_He seemed a little heartbroken asking that._

_“We are doing dinner and a movie.”_

_“That sounds like a fun time! Just be careful of the moves he might make during the movie!” he gave me a pointed look._

_“Ok dad!”_

_“Just watching out for you Clarke!”_

_I looked over to him and smiled._

_“I know you are. Just please know I can take care of myself.”_

_A few minutes later, we went back to watching the show. What I didn't notice was that every now and then Bellamy would look over to me and just give me a smile and have a look that screamed that I’m right here and please_ _notice me!_

_After the movie finished, I started to help Bellamy clean up his bed._

_All of a sudden, I felt popcorn thrown at me._

_Oh he did not just do that!_

_I looked up to him and he was staring back at me with a cocky ass grin which basically said do something about it! I took a handful popcorn and threw some back at him._

_“Oh, thats it! I’m going to get you!”_

_I ran as fast as I could to get to his bedroom door but I wasn't fast enough in opening it._

_I was laughing so hard I couldn't even function with opening it._

_He caught me, picked me up and carried me over to the bed._

_He then threw me down on to the bed facing upwards._

_He got on top of me._

_Then all of a sudden, he started tickling me._

_I started squealing and laughing so hard I was crying._

_All of a sudden he stopped._

_It felt as time was frozen!_

_I just laid there staring up at him and he was on top of me staring down at me._

_Bellamy looked down at my lips and then back to my eyes._

_He took a deep breath and started leaning in._

_Our lips were about to touch._

_I could feel the heat of his lips._

_I could feel his breath on my lips._

_I closed my eyes._

_“Bell? Are you home?” his mom called out from downstairs._

_Bellamy quickly got off me._

_He ran to open the bedroom door._

_“Yes. Clarke, is here as well!” he yelled back to her._

_He closed the bedroom door and walked back over to where I was._

_I was now sitting up and processing what almost happened._

_Bellamy sat down next to me._

_“Looks like we have to study now!” he was acting that nothing almost happened between us._

_“Yeah, I guess so.” I tried not to sound disappointed._

_I wish we got to kiss!_

_We soon got to studying but I couldn't focus._

_All I could think about was the almost kiss. I looked at Bellamy._

_He was busy writing something down._

_He looked as if nothing big almost happened between us that could have changed our friendship for good._

_Was he not fazed by it?_

_Did he realize he was about to kiss me?_

_Did he want to kiss me?_

_It was soon time for me to leave._ _As I was saying bye to him by his front door, he pulled me into a hug. We always hug but this hug felt different. It felt as if he didn't want to let me go and he was scared to lose me!_

I looked down at my text.

 **Clarke:** I will be there.

I pressed send.

A couple seconds later, I got a reply.

 **Bellamy:** Awesome! I cant wait to see you!

 **Clarke:** Me too

All I knew was that I just had a bad feeling about this party.


	6. Chances

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who's excited for the new episode tonight? These past three weeks took forever! I can't believe the show is almost over! So in honor of the new episode and the start of 7B, here is a new chapter. Hope you enjoy it! 
> 
> (*) : When you see this symbol in the chapter, look down at the end chapter notes

It was Friday afternoon and Raven and I were out shopping for dresses to wear to Bellamy’s party tomorrow. All week I was stressing about this party. I was tempted to bail on the last minute. I know that I have Raven, Shaw, Octavia, Murphy, Emori and Wells all there to help me. I just hope I don't see Bellamy and Gina being cute together. It will break my heart. Knowing I will have to get used to it at some point sucks but at the moment I can't.

“How does this one look?” Raven asked stepping out of the dressing room.

I looked at her after staring into space. “Raven, that one looks amazing! I think that one is the winner!”

The dress was a short sleeve light blue lace dress that goes down to the knees.

“Clarke, you have said that for the last two!” clearly getting kinda annoyed

“Well, I think this one is the real winner. Honestly! I love this one. Trust me!”

“Ok! Well, it’s your turn now.”

I stepped into the dressing room after she collected everything and walked out. I tried on about three dresses and each time Raven would tell me that she wouldn't like them or that they didn't flatter me that well. I put on the last one I had grabbed to try on and walked out.

When Raven looked up from her phone, her jaw dropped “Clarke, I swear you better go with this one! You will make boys drool!"

I turned to look into the mirror that was outside the dressing room.

The dress is purple with a sequined mesh top and has a halter neckline with a hook and eye closure. The dress also has a key hole back and stops above the knees.

As I was looking myself over in the mirror, I could hear Raven in the background going on and on about how I should buy this dress. All I could think about though was would it make Bellamy notice me.

“I will get it!” I turned to look at Raven smiling.

It was the night of Bell’s party. To say I was nervous was an understatement. Raven and Shaw had offered me a ride but I wanted to take a taxi. I needed time with myself before facing the music.

I had finally arrived at Bellamy’s place.

As I stepped on to the elevator to take to his floor, I could feel my nerves being all over the place. I kept telling myself I will be fine and this is just Bellamy we are talking about.

Nothing will go wrong!

I stepped off the elevator and walked to his door.

Once I got to the door, I took several deep breaths to calm myself. I texted him to let him know I have arrived.

Bellamy opened the door after a couple of seconds. He smiled at me and pulled me into hug. Man he smelled good and let alone looked good. He was wearing a navy button down long sleeve shirt with jeans.

I stepped out of his hold. He ushered me inside.

“I’m so glad that you could come!” 

“Me too.” I smiled at him. 

He took my purse and went to go put it in his room to keep it safe. He came back a few minutes later.

“So everyone else is up on the patio. Would you want a drink or something to eat before we go up there?"

“I will take a bottle of beer, please.”

“I will go to grab that for you. Be back in a second.” He walked off to go grab the beer.

We took an elevator up to the top floor. Once we got to the patio, we stepped off the elevator. The sight before me was breathtaking. Bellamy outdid himself! There was a dance floor where people were already dancing, there were tables pushed to the side along the dance floor where people can sit and talk. Along the edge of the patio there were glass railings so people can’t fall. Attached to the glass railings there were black poles. At the top of the poles there were lights attached to them. The lights were also strung across the patio. He also had a sound system hooked up somewhere that was playing music.

“You did a great job setting up Bellamy! Honestly. This is truly breathtaking!” I smiled at him.

He gave me a smile and gave a little laugh.

“Well, I wish I could say I did all this but I can’t. This was truly all Gina!”

Of course it was!

“Oh! Well, she did a great job.” I tried to hide my disappointment.

“I will be sure to tell her you said that!”

As we got closer to everyone else, I had spotted Raven along with Shaw, Murphy, Emori, Octavia and Wells all talking by the glass railing. So I left Bellamy and headed towards them.

“Hey Guys!”

They all said hello back.

“Hey, we didn't think you would actually come but we are glad you did!” Wells said as he put his arm around me.

“Thanks. Honestly, I’m surprised I’m here as well. It feels good that I came." I smiled at him. 

“You doing ok though? We saw that Bellamy led you up here.” Murphy asked giving me a concerned look.

“Yeah, I’m doing good. Good as I can be!” I forced a smile at Murphy.

“Well, I think Bellamy is shooting himself in the foot right now. You look amazing tonight!” Shaw said.

I smiled at Shaw and told him thanks.

While I was talking to them, we heard people start gushing. As I turned to look to see what all the commotion was about, I saw immediately what people were freaking out over.

My heart sunk!

I could feel the prickliness of the tears in my eyes.

I saw Bellamy and Gina were dancing and he had dipped her. He was also kissing her. It was like a scene out of a movie. I quickly turned my attention back to the group.

Sensing my discomfort, I felt Raven put her hand on my back and start rubbing it. It was her way of saying it will be ok. I looked at her and gave her best smile I could.

After a while, Wells, Octavia and I went to go sit down at one of the tables. Raven, Shaw, Emori and Murphy had gone to go dance for a bit.

While I was talking with Wells and Octavia, there was this guy who walked over to us.

“Hey! My name is Finn. What is your name?” He asked while holding his hand out for me to shake.

He was average height. He has long brown hair that stopped above his chin and has dark brown eyes. 

I took this hand “My name is Clarke. It’s nice to meet you Finn!” He then released my hand.

“If you are not busy would like you like dance with me?” Finn asked. He looked nervous because he started rubbing his neck with one of his hands.

As I was about to answer, Octavia answered for me.

“She would love to go dance with you!” I turned to look at her. I gave her a what the hell look. She just smiled right back at me.

“Clarke, you should go dance. Trust me it will be fun. Wells and I will be here when you get back.” Octavia told me.

Where is the part where they promised to never leave my side! I turned back to Finn who was giving me a hopeful smile.

Oh, what the hell!

I stood up from the table and smiled at Finn “Sure! I will love to go dance with you!”

As Finn and I were walking to the dance floor, I turned to look at Octavia and Wells who were watching me. I gave them a smirk and flicked them off!

After Finn and I had been dancing for a while, _Selena Gomez’s song Back to You_ started to play.

I placed my arms around Finn’s neck and he wrapped his arms around my waist. We then started swaying to the music. 

While we were dancing to the song, I decided to look around and take in the scene. I saw Raven and Shaw dancing, Murphy and Emori talking with Octavia and Wells. As my eyes left them, I made eye contact with Bellamy. He was sitting down at a table along with Gina. Gina was talking to him but he wasn't paying her any attention. His attention was focused solely on me.

_**“You could break my heart in two** _

_**But when it heals, it beats for you** _

_**I know it's forward, but it's true”** _

I couldn't look away from his gaze.

_**“I wanna hold you when I'm not supposed to** _

_**When I'm lying close to someone else** _

_**You're stuck in my head and I can't get you out of it”** _

His expression while I was dancing with Finn was indescribable. It looked like he was jealous.

_**“We never got it right** _

_**Playing and replaying old conversations** _

_**Overthinking every word and I hate it** _

_**'Cause it's not me ('cause it's not me)”** _

All of a sudden I could feel my breathing pick up. I just knew I had to leave the dance floor. I looked back to Finn and told him that I needed air.

As I was walking off the dance floor, I could hear the rest of the song.

_**“And what's the point in hiding?** _

_**Everybody knows we got unfinished business** _

_**And I'll regret it if I didn't say** _

_**This isn't what it could be (isn't what it could be)”** _

I walked over to the glass railing. I put my hands on the railing, closed my eyes and let out a breath. Once I got my breathing under control, I looked around for Raven, Shaw, Emori, Murphy, Octavia and Wells. I spotted them all sitting down at the same table. I walked over to them and I sat down next to Raven.

“Who was that guy that you were dancing with?” Octavia asked me.

“His name was Finn.”

“Well, I say he looked into you! I hope you get his number by the end of this night!” Emori told me.

While I was talking to Raven, Octavia and Emori, Bellamy walked over to the table.

“Well, long time no see Blake!” Shaw joked with Bellamy.

“I wish I could say the same Shaw!” Bellamy said with a smirk.

Shaw pretended to be hurt and even placed his hand over his heart "You wound me!"

Bellamy just laughed. He then went and sat down next to Shaw.

While I was talking with Octavia, Raven and Emori, I kept watching Bellamy. Whenever he laughed with Shaw, Murphy and Wells, my heart fluttered. Whenever he would smile, I would smile.

“Man you were right Raven! She does have it bad!” I heard Emori say.

I turned my gaze away from Bellamy and gave her a questioning look.

“Who has got it bad?” I asked.

“You dummy! You can’t stop watching my dear brother!” Octavia leaned over to me and whispered.

I looked down and my lap and then back to her and nodded "Yeah, I'm in love with him!" I whispered. 

Octavia reached over and placed her hand on my arm.

“Trust me it will be ok in the end. Everything will work out. Just have patience and some faith.”

“Thanks!” I said and gave her a smile.

I heard Bellamy call over to me. I looked over to him. He was giving me a cheeky smile.

“Would you like to have a dance me with me?” he asked.

Shit!

I looked over to Raven, Octavia and Emori and they were giving me encouraging smiles. Raven mouthed to me that it will be ok.

I looked back to him. I took a deep breath.

“Sure.”

We got up and he led me to the dance floor.

* A duet cover of _Chances by the Backstreet Boys_ started to play. 

_**“What if I never run into you?** _

_**What if you never smiled at me?”** _

I placed my arms around Bellamy’s neck while he placed his hands on my waist. I laid my head on his shoulder. We started to sway to the song.

_**“What are the chances that we'd end up dancing?** _

_**Like two in a million, like once in a life** _

_**That I could have found you, put my arms around you** _

_**Like two in a million, like once in a life** _

_**What are the chances?”** _

I lifted my head to look up at Bellamy. He was already staring down at me. Everything and everyone around us was drowned out. It felt like we were the only two people in the room.

_**“What if I hadn't asked for your name?** _

_**And time hadn't stopped when you said it to me? Oh** _

_**Of all of the plans that I could have made** _

_**Of all of the nights that I couldn't sleep, oh”** _

As I was staring into his eyes, I was starting to picture all the memories that we have had together. 

_**“Is it love? Is it fate?** _

_**Who am I? Who's to say?** _

_**Don't know exactly what it means (ooh, oh, yeah)"** _

Bellamy took one of his hands from my waist and held it out for me to take. I took my arms from around his neck and placed one of my hands into his awaiting hand.

_**“Is it love? Is it fate?** _

_**Where it leads, who can say?** _

_**Maybe you and I were meant to be”** _

He spun me around and my back landed with his chest. I could feel his chest moving from him breathing. I got out of his hold. I turned back around to face him.

**_“What if I never run into you?_ **

**_And what if you never smiled at me?”_ **

Bellamy opened his mouth getting ready to say something. I quickly stopped him.

“I’m going to go back and join the others."

I smiled at him and then left him on the dance floor.

As I was walking back to the table, I could feel his gaze following me.

_6 Years Ago_

_I was walking back to my dorm room one day after class when Bellamy called me._

_“Clarke, will you do a small favor for me?” Bellamy asked._

_“What do I need to do?” I could already sense that I was going to regret this._

_“How would you and Riley like to go on a double date with Bree and I?"_

_“Who is Bree?"_

_“This girl I met a couple days ago in class."_

_“Ok. I will ask Riley and see what he thinks.” Praying that Riley will say no._

_“Sounds good! Just let me know what he decides!”_

_Two days later, I find myself along with my boyfriend Riley on a double date with Bellamy and this girl Bree at a diner._

_“So how did you two meet?” I asked Bree while taking a sip of my water._

_Bellamy may have already told me but I wanted to see how she would remember it._

_“I think we met in a class. No, wait maybe at a party.” She definitely wasn't the brightest tool in the shed!_

_I looked to Bellamy, and he just shrugged. Bellamy clearly embarrassed took the focus of him and Bree by asking how Riley and I met. I looked at Riley and smiled. Riley replied by saying we had met through a mutual friend. Riley then asked Bellamy how the two of us met._

_“We met in the freshman year of high school. We met in the library. I had just transferred schools and I needed a book for one of my classes next period, so I had gone into the library, and she had been studying for an English exam.”_

_“Did you pass the exam?" Riley asked me._

_“Oh, she did all thanks to my help!” Bellamy said cockily._

_“Well, ok! I could have passed all on my own also!” I said appalled._

_“Oh, really!” he was smirking at me._

_“Yeah, I do!” I said as I leaned back in my chair. I crossed my arms, and dared Bellamy to challenge me some more._

_Bellamy and I kept challenging each other till a waiter came, and asked what we would like to eat._

_“So Bree what are you majoring in?" I asked then took a bite of my food._

_“I don't know really. Nothing seems to stick with me!” she said._

_“What about you? What are you majoring in?” she asked._

_“She’s majoring in nursing.” Bellamy replied for me._

_I was shocked that he remembered. Even Riley had a look of shock and jealousy with how quickly Bellamy answered. Bree looked at Bellamy with annoyance. I just smiled at Bellamy in awe. He gave me the same smile back._

_“My mom had asked about you the other day!” Bellamy said after the waiter took our plates._

_“Aww that was really sweet of her! I miss your mom. How is she doing by the way?” I asked._

_His mother would always love it when I came over. I was family to her. She was surprised that we never dated. Sometimes she would joke around with us by saying how perfect we would be together or drop hints subtle hints about us. Sometimes she and Octavia would gang up on Bellamy and I, and just tease us endlessly. Bellamy and I would then just ignore them._

_“She’s doing good. She just hates that I’m not home as much anymore! You should give her a call. She would love that!” he said and smiled at me._

_“Yeah, I will be sure to give her a call!”_

_While Bellamy and I were talking, Riley was looking back and forth between Bellamy and I. Bree was just on her phone._

_After saying bye to Bellamy and Bree, as I was about to open the car door, Riley grabbed my arm to stop me._

_“I don’t know if I can keep seeing you!” I looked at him surprised_

_“Why?"_

_“I can't compete with Bellamy!"_

_I opened my mouth getting ready to respond back._

_“You really don't see it do you?”_

_“No?” clearly confused now._

_“The whole time when we were on that date with him and Bree, it felt like the two of you were in your own little world. The two of you have these inside jokes. He seems to know everything about you and you seem to know everything about him."_

_“We are just best friends!” clearly annoyed._

_“Trust me you will see it one day!”_

The rest of night passed in a daze. Soon it was time to leave, but I decided to stay a little longer and help Bellamy clean up. After I was done, I realized that I was the last person to leave. Hoping that he doesn't get a chance to stop me, I quickly went to Bellamy’s room to grab my purse. Right as I was walking out of his room, I noticed he was waiting by the door. He looked nervous.

“Hey, can you stay longer? I would like to catch up some more.”

My heart started beating fast. All I could think about was that moment on the dance floor.

“Sure.”

“Great! Would you like another beer?”

“Yes, Thank you!”

“Sure thing!”

After a while and a couple of beers later, I found myself next to Bellamy on his couch laughing hard with tears running down my cheeks at a story he was telling me. It was about this one time where he and Shaw had gone camping with Murphy and Wells.

“I’m telling you that was the camping trip from hell!" I stopped laughing enough to reach over to grab my bottle of beer.

As I was bringing the bottle to my mouth, I accidentally spilled the beer down the front of my dress.

“Shit! Hold on I’m going to go wash the beer off.”

I got up and started walking to his kitchen. 

“Ok. Let me go grab you a washcloth real quick.”

I was standing by the kitchen sink waiting for him to bring me a washcloth.

After he brought it, I started wiping the beer off.

All off a sudden I felt water thrown at me. I turned to look at him.

“No, you didn’t!” He gave me a cheeky grin and was reaching for some more when I placed the washcloth under the water and then squeezed it out on him over his head.

“Now its on!” he said.

We started having a water fight right there in his kitchen. We were laughing while just spraying each other with water. I went to go put my hand under the water and didn’t notice that the floor was wet. Bellamy tried to catch me as I slipped, but it was too late. I fell on my back, and he fell on top of me. 

Bellamy looked at me, and stopped laughing. He took his right hand and placed it on my cheek. His thumb started stroking my cheek. He looked down at my lips and back to my eyes. He took a deep breath and started leaning in. I know I should push him away, but I couldn't move.

I was frozen.

I closed my eyes.

I felt his lips touch mine. He had soft lips that perfectly molded to mine. A couple seconds later his lips left mine.

I opened my eyes.

I lifted one of my hands and stroked his cheek. He let out a small breath. A few seconds later Bellamy kissed me again, but this time with more intensity. I felt his tongue brushing against my lips. I opened my lips to let his tongue in.

It felt like a fire was consuming me, and I didn't want to put it out.

A couple seconds later he got up off me. He stood up and then offered to help me up. Once he helped me up, his hand let go of mine. He didn't say a word, he just walked out of the kitchen towards his bedroom. He stopped when he got to the threshold. He took several deep breaths. Then he turned around to face me. Seconds later he turned back around and walked into his room. 

I could feel the adrenaline running though my body. 

Do I follow him?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs featured in the chapter: 
> 
> \- Back to You by Selena Gomez
> 
> \- Chances by Backstreet Boys 
> 
> * If you wanna hear and play this version of the Backstreet Boys song during the section where the song was featured: Go to YouTube and search "Backstreet Boys Chances Cover by Mike Archangelo and CORii *
> 
> Thanks again for reading!
> 
> Next chapter should be posted next Friday.


	7. The Morning After

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey Y'all, 
> 
> Two quick things: 
> 
> One: Sorry for the late update. I wasn't feeling well last week. Hopefully this chapter will make up for it and especially help with that heartbreak from last weeks episode! 
> 
> Two: There is a sex scene in this chapter!

I woke up to my head pounding. I should not have had that much alcohol last night. The sunlight that was pouring in from the window wasn't helping my headache either. I must have forgotten to close the blinds last night before I went to bed.

Wait a minute.

I fully opened my eyes.

This isn't my bedroom!

Wait I know this bedroom!

No No No No No

Shit this is Bellamy’s bedroom.

Why was I in his bedroom?

I felt the bed move, I looked over my shoulder and, saw Bellamy sound asleep next to me.

Shit!

I lifted the covers and saw that I was fully naked.

Please tell me we didn't have sex!

This isn't happening!

I’m just going to wake up and all of this will be a dream.

I closed my eyes.

Counted to three and then reopened them.

Crap!

I pinched myself.

Yeah that didn't work either!

All I know is that I needed to get out of here now!

I don't want to know what his reaction will be once he wakes up to find out we possibly had sex. I quickly and quietly get out of the bed trying not to make any noise. I found my dress on the floor and quickly put it on. I also saw my purse and grabbed it. Right as I was about to exit his room, I stopped. I turned around and looked at him. He looked so peaceful while he slept. I just hope we didn't ruin our friendship! Though I’m pretty sure we did! I turned back around and walked out. Once I was finally outside, I was able to hail a taxi right away. I gave the driver my address and was finally on my way home. I decided to check my phone for any missed messages.

Turns out I had several text messages.

 **Raven:** Hey, just want to make sure you are doing ok!

 **Raven:** I was thinking maybe in the afternoon we could meet up and grab a bite to eat!

 **Raven:** I asked Emori if she would want to join us and she is in! Let me know if there is any place you would like to meet.

 **Wells:** Good Morning, just want to check in and make sure everything is good. I admire you for coming to the party last night. I know it couldn't be easy. I also want you to know that if you ever need to talk my ears are always open!

 **Emori:** Hey girly, it was good seeing you last night! Can’t wait to meet up later!

 **Raven:** Clarke, are you even alive over there?

I sent a group message to both Raven and Emori.

 **Clarke:** I’m alive don't worry! Sorry I just woke up. Can you and Emori meet me at my place before we grab a bite to eat. There is something I need to tell you guys.

 **Raven:** Sure thing! Is everything ok?

 **Emori:** Sounds good! I hope everything is ok!

 **Clarke:** I honestly don't know anymore! I will tell you more later.

I messaged Wells back.

 **Clarke:** Good morning to you as well! I’m doing ok. Thanks for asking and I might take you up on that.

Once I finally arrived back home, I took a shower and put on fresh clothes. While I was waiting for Raven and Emori to arrive at my place, I was starting to remember everything that happened between Bellamy and I.

_Last Night_

_Bellamy looked at me and stopped laughing. He took his right hand placed it on my cheek. His thumb started stroking my cheek. He looked down at my lips and back to my eyes. He took a deep breath and started leaning in._

_I know I should push him away but I couldn't move. I was frozen._

_I closed my eyes._

_I felt his lips touch mine._

_He had soft lips that perfectly molded to mine. Then his lips left mine.I opened my eyes. I lifted one of my hands and stroked his cheek. He let out a small breath. A few seconds later Bellamy kissed me again but this time with more intensity. I felt his tongue brushing against my lips. I opened my lips to let his tongue in._

_It felt like a fire was consuming me and I didn't want to put it out._

_A couple seconds later he then got up off me. He stood up and then offered to help me up. Once he helped me up, his hand let go of mine. He didn't say a word, he just walked out of the kitchen towards his room. He stopped when he got to the threshold. He took several deep breaths then he turned around to face me. Seconds later he turned back around and walked into his room._

_I could feel the adrenaline running though my body._

_Do I follow him?_

_My feet had a mind of their own because they just started walking. I know I shouldn't follow him but my alcohol filled mind was doing the actions for me._

_There was no going back now as I stepped into his room._

_Once I stepped into his room and walked over to him by the bed_ _, I could feel the anticipation of what was about to happen._

_Our friendship was about to step over that line._

_There was no coming back from this!_

_Did I want us to come back from this?_

_All I knew was that this felt like a long time coming and that fire in my blood was going to get bigger._

_There was no putting it out now!_

_Once I reached him, I stopped right in front of him._

_He took his right hand and put it in my hand._

_"Are you sure you want this to happen?" Bellamy asked._

_I gave him a small smile and nodded._

_He gave me a smile in return "Ok! Just wanted to make sure!"_

_He squeezed my hand and let go._

_He then placed his hand that was just in mine on my cheek and started stroking it._

_I let out a nervous breath._

_He placed his other hand on my waist and drew me closer. He then leaned forward and placed his lip on mine._

_I closed my eyes and I placed my left arm around his neck._

_Before long what started out to be a gentle kiss, soon turned into one with an intensity that was leaving me breathless._

_A couple seconds later, I stopped kissing him, took my arm from around his neck and stepped out of his hold._

_I waited for him to open his eyes. When he did, I gave him a small smile and lifted my hands to the back of my neck where my dress was clipped._

_He stopped me before I could undue the first clip._

_He took his hands and placed on top of mine._

_"Let me be the one to do that!"_

_"Ok." I whispered._

_His hands replaced mine and he and I stared at each other while he unclipped my dress. Once he unclipped the clips, he began pushing my dress down my body till it fell to the floor and all I had on left was light gray lace underwear._

_Bellamy took a step back and silently roamed my body with his eyes. I started to feel self-conscious and covered my breasts with my arms. Bellamy immediately sensing my discomfort placed both hands on my face and made me look him in the eyes._

_"It's ok. It's just me! I won't hurt you. Tell me when to stop and we will. We can stop right now if you want to!"_

_I unwrapped my arms from around my breasts and placed both of my hands on top of his._

_I took a deep breath and let it out._

_"I know you would never hurt me! I want this. I do! I just got nervous all of a sudden."_

_"Are you sure you really want this to happen? I know I keep asking but I just want to make sure before you have any regrets."_

_I took my hands from on top of his and placed them on his face "Yes, I'm sure! I want this! Bellamy, I want you!" I said hoping he could see in my eyes that I was very much there was no going back._

_He leaned forward and gave me a quick chaste kiss._

_He dropped his hands to my shoulders._

_Feeling this sudden boldness hit me, I playfully push Bellamy onto the bed._

_He looked at me shocked by this sudden braveness that I had. I just gave him a smirky smile in return and stepped in-between his legs and placed my hands on his button down and began undoing the buttons. He smirked and placed his hands on my waist and began rubbing his thumbs on my hips. After I had done all of buttons, I pushed his button down from his shoulders. He helped me to take it off._

_Once he took it off, Bellamy then placed both hands back on my waist. Before I knew it Bellamy pulled me down on top of him and then rolled over so he was on top of me. My legs spread and he was in between them. Both of his arms laid next to my head._

_Bellamy took one of his arms and put it underneath my back. He helped me scoot up to his pillow, so I could lay my head down on it. Once I got situated, Bellamy took his arm from under me and laid it next to my head again. Bellamy then leaned down and started to kiss every inch of my face and saved my lips for last. I wrapped my arms around his neck._

_While we were making out, Bellamy took one of hands and with a feather light touch, traced it down my body. Once he got to my underwear he stopped. He stopped kissing me and waited for me to open my eyes. Once I had opened my eyes, he then placed his forehead on mine._

_"You still doing ok?" he asked._

_I took one of my arms that was wrapped around his neck and placed it on his face and started stroking it with my thumb._

_I smiled at him and nodded. He smiled back. He lifted his forehead from mine and gave me a quick peck on my forehead and then laid his forehead back down on mine._

_His hand that was by my underwear slid underneath and stopped when he got to my clit. Slowly with the lightest of touches, he started rolling it around with his index finger. He then lifted his forehead from mine and moved down to start kissing my neck. I let out a moan and I moved my hand that was on his face and slid it into his hair._

_Soon I could feel I was about to cum. I could feel my heart rate getting faster and my breathing was getting faster._

_Bellamy sensing it was approaching as well, started to move his finger faster._

_I curled my toes, arched my back, lifted my head back and my eyes rolled back when I felt myself release._

_Once the aftershock from my orgasm subsided and my breathing slowed down, Bellamy lifted his head and stared down at me. I stared back at him and unconsciously licked my bottom lip. Bellamy's eyes looked down at that movement and then went back to my eyes._

_I took my hands and placed them on the button of his jeans and helped him take off both his jeans and boxer briefs. He then helped me take off my underwear._

_Bellamy then reached over and pulled out a condom from his nightstand. He leaned back on his knees and put the condom on. After he put it on, he laid back down on top of me._

_He gave me a quick peck on the lips._

_"Ready?" he asked._

_I let a breath "Yeah!"_

_He then placed his forehead on mine and again. I lifted my legs, so I could bend my knees and place them by his waist. He laid one arm by my head and the other was placed on his penis. He took his penis, coated it with my wetness and then lined it up at my entrance._

_He let a breath and pushed in._

_He took his hand from his penis and then laid his arm back down on the other side of my head. He kept thrusting in and out slowly till he got all the way in. He stopped for a couple seconds, so I could adjust to his length. Once I felt comfortable for him to move again, I lifted my hips to let him know. He then pulled back out and then would thrust back in slowly._

_Once we found our rhythm, I wrapped my legs around his waist._

_Soon I could feel myself beginning to tighten._

_Bellamy started thrust faster._

_"Come on Clarke! Cum for me!"_

_Right as he said that, I let out a moan and threw my head back and felt myself release. Bellamy thrusted a few more times then he let out his release._

_Once we both came down from our high, we just stared at each other. A couple seconds later, he leaned down and gave me a chaste kiss and then pulled outta me. He then got up and walked to the bathroom to toss the condom away and to clean up. He came back and helped cleaned me up with a rag. After took the rag back to the bathroom. I rolled to my side and watched him as he got back into bed._

_He laid on his side as well facing me._

_He gave me a small smile and I gave him one back._

_This boy had my heart and he didn't even know it!_

I wonder if he will remember anything when he wakes up?

I really hope he doesn't remember anything!

My heart would shatter if I lost him! I heard my phone going off to let me know that Raven and Emori have arrived. I went to get let them in. I led them to the couch in the living room and told them to take a seat. I stood before them thinking of what to say.

“I have something huge to tell y’all and it I hope you don't get mad!”

I felt nervous all of a sudden. I could feel myself beginning to shake.

“Clarke, I don’t think we will get mad. Unless you do drugs then that will be a different story!” Raven said trying to lighten the mood.

I just started at her and gave her a what the hell look.

“Raven, does it look like I do drugs or that I would be the type of person to ruin my life like that?”

“No but you never know!”

“Raven!” Raven held up her hands and said sorry.

I then took a deep breath.

It’s now or never.

“Last night after everyone left, Bellamy asked me if I could stay longer to catch up. Well I did end up staying and we had a couple drinks.” Their faces said it all. They could tell where this was leading.

“You and Bellamy had sex last night didn't you?” Emori asked. I didn't say anything I just nodded my head and looked down.

“Oh, Clarke! I’m sorry! Are you ok?” Emori asked me.

“Do you regret it?” Raven asked.

I looked up at Raven.

Do I regret it?

I turned to look out the window. I thought back to that moment and all the emotions I felt during it. The look of love Bellamy gave me came back to me. Something was not letting me forget that moment! I looked back to Raven and Emori. 

“I do but at the same time I don’t!” I could feel tears coming to my eyes.

“What was Bellamy’s reaction?” Emori asked.

“I don’t know. I left before he woke up! I couldn’t face him.” Raven just gave me a look of sympathy.

I didn't deserve that look. Raven then leaned forward and looked me straight in the eye “Are you ok though? Saying yes is one thing but hiding what your really feeling isn't healthy! Tell us the truth! Are you ok with what happened?”

I took a deep breath.

A few tears escaped my eyes. I quickly wiped them.

“No I'm not! I fucked up big time. This isn't something I can move on from and forget. This only increased my feelings for him so much more. I don't know if I can be in the same room with him now. Maybe you were right Raven! I probably should have told him how I felt before something like this happened, but it did! I have to live with it and suffer with what ever consequences come my way. Yes, do I wish things were different between Bellamy and I, I do, but he is seeing that Tia, Mina or Gina or whatever her name is. Bellamy and I could have really been something but our time for that is gone. He and I were just destined to be best friends and that’s it!”

“Clarke, you can still tell him. It is not to late! You should tell him how you feel now before you really do miss the moment!” Raven said.

“You really should tell him Clarke! I honestly believe he feels the same about you. He is most likely doing what your doing, trying to push the feelings aside and keep the friendship! I think he feels you might not feel the same. Trust me! You didn't see the way he looked at you as you walked off the dance floor.” Emori replied.

“What look was that?”

“A look of love! Also the look that he let the best thing walk away from him. I agree with Raven. You should tell him!”

“I’ll think about it.”

I really did think about it the rest of the day.

Thankfully when Monday came work had keep me busy and I didn't have to think much about the situation.

All week my schedule was work, come home, eat dinner, watch a little television or read and then go to bed. Then start it all over again.

Before I knew it, two weeks had flown by and it was Friday. For some strange reason when I woke up I just had the strange feeling that something was going to happen. I didn't know if it was going to be good or bad.

Right as I walked over to my cubicle at work, my boss called for me to come to his office. I walked into his office and sat down in front of his desk.

“How are you doing Clarke?” 

Well lets see…..I recently discovered that I’m in love with my best friend and we ended up sleeping together a couple weeks ago at his party. Oh and get this he is dating another girl named Gina.

“I’ve been ok!”

“Glad to hear it. The reason I called you in here is because I have a great job opportunity for you and I wanted to run it by you. You know our other office in Polis?”

Where was he going with this?

“Yeah.”

“Well they have a position that just opened up and it is for being manager!”

Holy crap!

“I can see that your stunned. There is no one else that I would rather see take this job other than you! The only con is having to move to Polis! Now I don't need an answer right away but I will give you a month to decide.”

“Thank you Mr. Azgeda! Truly I’m grateful for this potential job opportunity. I will think it over and tell you what I decide.”

“Sounds good. Take care!”

“Thanks! You do the same.”

Holy Shit!

Holy Shit!

Holy Shit!

I was in a daze walking back to my cubicle.

This position would open so many opportunities for me! Plus it would mean a bigger paycheck. The only draw back would be leaving behind my friends and family.

Could I leave them all behind?

Could I leave my parents?

Could I leave Raven, Shaw, Murphy, Emori, Octavia and Wells?

Could I leave Bellamy?

Bellamy!

Bellamy who has been there for me since I met him in freshman year. Who has been there for me though heartaches, troubles with my parents, graduating and most importantly just being someone I can rely on.

Could I leave all that?

Then the situation that I wasn't trying to think about comes up.

Would I be able to leave after what happened between Bellamy and I?

Is there even an us anymore?

Are we still best friends or did this wreck us?

I could feel myself being pulled into two different directions.

Every direction had pros and cons but ultimately which one would benefit me. A part of me is tempted to walk back into my boss’s office and accept the position and just start over completely but that would mean I was running.

I couldn't do that!

_5 Years Ago_

_Bellamy had invited me to a party at his fraternity. The theme was “John Hughes” and you were to come dressed up as a character from any of the John Hughes movies. I was dressed up as Claire Standish from the Breakfast club and Bellamy dressed up as Andrew Clark who was also from the Breakfast club._

_When we walked inside fraternity, my jaw dropped. The whole place was decorated in blacklight, everyone was wearing different character outfits from any of the John Hughes movies and 80’s music was playing._

_“Hey, I’m going to go grab us some drinks. Do you want anything in particular?” Bellamy asked._

_“I’ll take a rum and coke, please?”_

_“You got it!” Bellamy said and walked off._

_I was now standing by myself waiting for Bellamy to walk back. Soon it turned into an hour since Bellamy had walked off. I decided to go look for him. I finally found him standing in a corner of the room talking to a girl. He was defiantly into her based on how he was giving her the signature Bellamy smile. Trust me if you see that smile you would be a goner as well. I also noticed that he was holding two glasses, I was pretty sure one of them was mine. Being the good friend that I was, I decided to head to the drink area and make my own drink._

_“So whats a beautiful girl like you doing here by yourself?”a voice behind me asked while I was making my drink. I turned around and saw this guy dressed like Duckie from Pretty in Pink._

_“Thanks but I’m not here by myself. I actually came here with a friend.” my eyes looking for Bellamy and finding him._

_I had a pain in my heart with what I saw._

_Bellamy and that girl were now kissing in the middle of the dance floor. The guy dressed like Duckie saw that I was looking at something and turned around. He saw what I was looking at and he turned back around and gave me a look of sympathy._

_“I’m guessing that is the person you came with!” I looked down and just nodded my head._

_“Well, I think he's an idiot! What’s his name?” I looked back up at him._

_“Bellamy.”_

_“Trust me! Girls like Ontari are usually forgotten after a party. Girls like you are worth more than just a hook up! Bellamy is an idiot if he doesn’t see what is in front of him!” I smiled at him._

_"You don't even know me. How can you tell that I'm worth it?" I asked._

_"Call it a sixth sense, but honestly I just get this feeling that you are!"_

_I could feel my heart swell at that._

_“Thanks! That means a lot. I’m Clarke by the way.”_

_I held out my hand to shake. He took my hand “Nice to meet you Clarke. My name is Wells.”_

_Wells was my saving grace at the party._

_While Bellamy was busy dancing with that girl, I was sitting on a couch laughing at stupid stories that Wells was telling me. Wells put his arm around me and leaned into my ear “Don’t look now, but your friend is looking over here at us and he isn't happy. If I had to guess he seems jealous!”_

_Man I wish I could look!_

_“Really? You think he might be jealous?”_

_“Trust me! He is jealous and oh lord he is on his way over here now. Keep calm!”_

_Honestly no one ever stays calm when someone tells you to stay calm._

_I could feel my heart racing._

_Could Bellamy really be jealous of me and Wells!_

_Bellamy finally walked over to us along with the girl._

_“Hey Clarke, I see that your having a good time!” Bellamy smiled at me._

_I smiled back_

_“Yeah Wells over here is keeping my company. I’m glad I met him!”_

_Bellamy held out his hand for Wells to shake._

_“Hey Man, thanks for keeping Clarke company. I kinda got busy.”_

_No, Bellamy its called you were thinking with your dick and not your brain._

_Wells grabbed Bellamy’s hand and shook it. If I didn't no better I would say they were having a male dominance test. The one where they size each other up._

_“It wasn't a problem at all. Clarke is a really great girl and I’m glad I met her!”_

_Bellamy gave a little smile and then turned to me. “Clarke, I would like you to meet Ontari. Ontari, this is my best friend Clarke.”_

_For some reason it stung when he called me his best friend. I put on a brave smile and looked at Ontari and told her it was nice to meet her. Ontari just looked me up and down and gave me a smile, and then turned to Bellamy. She grabbed Bellamy’s arm and complained that she wanted him to go meet some of her friends. Bellamy looked indecisive but he gave me an apologetic look and then walked off with Ontari._

_Wells turned to me “She sounds like a real winner right there!” I just laughed and Wells smiled._

_Sometime later Wells pulled me to my feet._

_“I know I’m the last guy who you want to be dancing with tonight and you would much rather dance with Bellamy, but will you do me the honor of dancing to one song with me?”_

_Oh, what the hell!_

_Couldn't hurt!_

_Right?!_

_“Sure!”_

_Right as Wells took me out onto the dance floor Don’t You (Forget About Me) by Simple Minds came on._

**_“Tell me your troubles and doubts_ **

**_Giving me everything inside and out and_ **

**_Love's strange so real in the dark_ **

**_Think of the tender things that we were working on”_ **

_I decided to look out into the crowd._

**_“Slow change may pull us apart_ **

**_When the light gets into your heart, baby”_ **

_Bellamy was standing with Ontari and a group of her friends. While she was busy talking to them, Bellamy had his attention solely focused on me. I decided to look away and focus all of my attention on Wells. I looked at Wells and smiled at him, and he smiled right back._

**_“Don't you, forget about me_ **

**_Don't, don't, don't, don't_ **

**_Don't you, forget about me”_ **

_I saw something out of the corner of my eye._

_I looked over and saw Bellamy was leading Ontari_ _up the stairs._

**_“Will you stand above me?_ **

**_Look my way, never love me_ **

**_Rain keeps falling, rain keeps falling_ **

**_Down, down, down”_ **

I unlocked my phone and went into my contacts to find the person I was searching for.

I clicked their name and sent a text message.

 **Clarke:** Hey, are you busy right now?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked that sex scene. It was my first one. Hopefully it didn't suck! 
> 
> Thanks again for reading! Hope y'all are still enjoying the story!


	8. I Have To Be Realistic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey Everyone, 
> 
> Sorry for the late update! My internet decided to be a pain on Tuesday and I didn't get it resolved till Wednesday night. 
> 
> Don't worry I will finish the story even though my heart is broken right now. I'm so disgusted with the writers and with he who shall not be named decided to end Bellamy's story in last nights episode. I keep thinking I'll wake up and it was all nightmare but it wasn't!

**Clarke:** Hey, are you busy right now?

A couple seconds later I received a reply.

 **Wells:** Hey, I can meet up now. Is everything ok?

 **Clarke:** Yes and No. I’ll explain when we meet up. Would you want to meet at Grounders Cafe?

 **Wells:** Sounds good with me. See you soon!

While I was waiting for Wells to arrive at at the cafe, I kept thinking of all the goodbyes I would have to say to everyone, if I accepted this position. Goodbyes are never easy especially if you are close to your friends and family.

“Hey you!” I looked up after staring in space. I smiled at Wells who finally arrived. I got up out of the booth and went to give him a hug.

“Hey! Thanks for meeting me after a short notice.” We both sat down in the booth.

“No worries at all! I was just cleaning up my place and needed a break. So what's up?” he asked.

Where to start!

“I need your advice on two situations!” He gave me a worried look.

“Is everything ok? I hope it’s nothing bad!” he reached over and grabbed one of my hands to comfort me. I squeezed his hand and took a breath.

“You remember Bellamy’s party two weeks ago?”

“Sure!”

“Well after everyone left that night I stayed behind and hung out more with Bellamy. After a couple drinks we hooked up!”

“That’s not good! Have you guys talked about it?” he squeezed my hand again.

I looked away.

I took a deep breath. 

I saw an older couple sitting at a table near us.

I focused on them.

Have you ever just looked at an older couple and admired their love. The way they smile at each other, help each other if one of them was struggling and just the love they have for each other.

I looked back at Wells “I actually left the next morning before he even woke up. So I don't know what his reaction would have been or what his reaction was when he woke up. He hasn't messaged me. So I haven't talked to him for two weeks. I miss him and I hate not talking to him!”

I wiped a tear that managed to escape my eye.

“Have you thought of messaging him? Maybe he's like you. He’s at a loss on what to say and is waiting for you to make the move.”

“Yeah, I have thought about it but what should I say? It’s like hey, I hope what happened between us didn't hinder our friendship or how about I miss you and hooking up drunk with you should not have happened.” Wells gave me a be serious look.

“Clarke, I know you have feelings for him and hooking up with him didn't help it but I really think you two need to meet up and talk about not only what happened but what is going to happen to the friendship. You should also tell him about your feelings! Look before you say anything hear me out. I’ve known you and Bellamy since that party a couple years ago and I saw two people that night hopelessly in love with each other but afraid to do something about it. If you guys don't say what your truly feeling to the other person then you are going to have heartache the rest of your lives. Trust me that is not something you would want!”

“I know I need to own up to it. Hell Raven, Octavia, Shaw and now you have told me that I need to tell him."

I took a breath. 

"I'm scared!" 

"Scared of what?"

"That I will lose him! I can't lose Bellamy!" 

“Clarke, its ok to be scared but trust me you won’t lose him! Bellamy wont let that happen!”

“Ok. There is something else I need to run by you!”

“Yeah what is it?”

“Today my boss offered me a manager position”

“Clarke that’s really great! Congrats!”

“Thanks! The only downfall that it is in Polis!”

“Oh!”

“Yeah! So I don't know what to do! What would you do?” Wells rubbed half of his face.

“Honestly I have no idea! That’s a tough decision. Ultimately its up to you and what would benefit you the most.”

“True. I wanna take it but I’m nervous and scared to leave everyone behind. I wont have anyone there.” Wells looked serious all of a sudden.

“Clarke, I want you to be completely honest with me! Are you debating taking this position because its a great one or are you wanting to accept it because you don't want to face Bellamy and are wanting to run?”

Wells is like Raven. They can pick up on people’s emotions and read them like a damn book.

“Both!”

“Look Clarke before you make any decision you really need to sit down with Bellamy! It will help and it will make the decision a lot easier. Running is never the answer!”

“I know! Do you think Bellamy and I will truly be ok though?” He gave me a knowing smile.

“Clarke, you have nothing to fear. Bellamy would be an absolute idiot if he truly let you get away! Message him and tell him you need to talk.”

“Ok I will!”

“You already know the answer to which option you want to choose but he will ultimately help make it. I have to get going but just let me know what happens. I’m always here for you!” Wells was getting up out of the booth when I stopped him.

“You said he was in love with me since that party that you and I met at. How could you tell?” Wells gave me a knowing look.

“He looked at you when you were talking to me like you were his whole world!” Wells said then waved and walked out the door.

Everyone keeps telling me that he is in love with me then why is he going on dates with Gina?

Why not tell me?

I opened up my text messages conversations I have with Bellamy.

I hesitated with what to say.

 **Clarke:** Hey, I hope your doing ok? Are you busy Friday night?

No I erased that one.

I came up with something different.

 **Clarke:** Hey, I think we need to meet up and talk! There is something between us!

Ugh No!

I erased that one as well.

Oh screw it!

I’ll come up with something later!

I got up and went back to work. Raven messaged me an hour before I get to leave asking if I would like to come over and have dinner with her and Shaw. I accepted because I would rather be around people then go home and have a pity party.

Before I knew it I arrived at their place. While Raven and I were waiting on Shaw to cook dinner, we were looking though old yearbooks and reminiscing about our high school years.

“Do you remember when Nikki came in late that one time and Mr. Kane looked like he was about to blow a fuse?” Raven asked me.

“She didn't just come in late. She came in five minutes before class was done. Who does that?”

“Apparently Nikki does!” Raven flipped the page.

“Aww look at Monty. I had a huge crush on him! I remember when he and Harper got caught smoking pot. I wonder whatever happened to them?” After Monty was caught smoking pot he was thrown off the soccer team.

I used to go to those games just to watch him play! 

“You don't know! Thats shocking. He and Harper moved to Arkadia two years ago.”

“Oh! Well good for them! They were a great couple.” Raven flipped the page again and immediately tensed up.

“Man I hated that girl!” There were about 15 girls on both pages combined.

“Who?”

“Mel Bryan. God she was the biggest bitch!”

“I really don't remember her being a bitch to me!” Raven looked up at me with a you got to be kidding me look.

“Well you will probably remember this. She dated Bellamy.” A million memories flashed in my head just then.

“Oh yeah! Yeah, she was a bitch!”

“Told you!”

“She hated that I was best friends with Bellamy. I remember that she was always just to find ways to tear Bellamy and I up. She went as low as to make a fake Facebook profile for me. She would message random people talking about how much I hated Bellamy dating Mel and that I was always trying to cut into their dates and so on. Then she would print out those messages and show Bellamy. I'm so glad he saw right through her! Now that I think about it, all his girlfriends in high school never liked me!”

“Clarke it's because they were jealous of you! They wanted what you and Bellamy had.”

“What being best friends?”

“Yes, but also the fact that Bellamy always turned to you when he needed help with something. Bellamy trusts you fully! Plus they knew deep down that they will never be noticed if you were always in the picture!”

“Oh! I never thought of it like that.”

“Hey Raven and Clarke, dinner is ready.” Shaw called from the other room.

Once we got to the dinner table, I saw Shaw made spaghetti.

“So I have some news to share with you guys!”

“Do tell!” Shaw said

“Well my boss offered me a new position and it would entail me being a manger!”

"Clarke thats amazing!” Raven said while getting up out of her chair to come and hug me.

“Congrats Clarke!” Shaw said. I smiled at him. Raven went back to her seat.

“Thanks! The only thing is, it would entail me moving to Polis!”

“Oh!” they both said.

“What are you thinking of doing?” Shaw asked.

“I have no idea honestly. I want to accept it but everyone is here. I don't know if I could leave all that! I have to be realistic though and that this job is a great opportunity for me!” Raven was just staring at me and trying to figure out something.

“Have you talked to Bellamy and asked what his opinion is?” Raven asked. I bit my lip and shook my head.

“Not yet.”

“Really why not?” Shaw asked confused.

“He is literally the first one you would tell before you tell anyone else!” Raven then turned to him

“Clarke and Bellamy hooked up the night of his party and they haven't talked since.” I just started at Raven shocked.

“What the hell Raven!” She just shrugged his shoulders

“What don't get mad at me that I told Shaw. Honestly Shaw and Bellamy are good friends. It's amazing Bellamy hasn't told Shaw what is even going on between the two of y’all!”

True!

Shaw gave me a concerned look.

“Are you going to tell him about this job opportunity?”

“Yeah.”

The both just stared at me.

“I will! I just don't know what to say to him after two weeks of no communication.” Shaw gave me a sympathy look and then gave me a serious look.

“Look Clarke, you and Bellamy are family to me but you can’t keep running from your feelings for him because they are going to come out one day. You should also tell him about this job opportunity! He can help you figure out which path to take!”

“I know! I just worry about things!”

“I understand but you will feel better once you tell him everything especially now you guys hooked up. Having sex only increases feelings. It will be ok though!” I just gave him a smile. When it was time for me to leave, Shaw walked me to the door. Before he unlocked it, he turned to me.

“Clarke, please think about what I said tonight at dinner! I really do think things will workout in the end. I just don't want you to have any regrets if you never tell him how you truly feel.” Shaw said.

I smiled at him and then went to give him a hug. I thanked him again for dinner and left. 

_4 Years Ago_

_Bellamy needed my help one day with helping to pick out a birthday present for his mom. He’s lucky that I know his mom well, especially with what she likes and doesn't like._

_“How about I buy her a gift card to one of her favorite stores?” he suggested._

_“Seriously Bellamy! You do that every year. You have to think out of the box this time and not keep doing the same thing over and over!”_

_“What about getting her a gift card to get a massage?”_

_“I’m sure she would love that but it's still getting her a gift card. Try and think of something different.”_

_“I know! I just never know what to get her.”_

_“Well, has she mentioned anything lately that she has been wanting?”_

_He thought of it for a while and then shook his head no. Thankfully as we were walking around Arkadia, we came across this bookstore called Mt. Weather Collections._

_“How about we walk in here and look for a book. She does love to read!” Bellamy debated it but then shook his head no._

_“The thing is I really don't know what books she has read or even likes. I have seen her with a book but I never know what the title is.”_

_“Really! You never have struck up conversation with your mom about books she enjoys reading?”_

_“Nope.” I just stared dumbfounded at him._

_“What? She doesn't like when people disrupt her when she is reading. She hates when she has to pause where she is.”_

_“Ok. Well let's keep looking then.” A couple minutes later we came across chocolate shop called Dead Zone Sweets. Bellamy was literally a kid in a candy shop as he looked inside the window._

_“Hey Clarke, let's look in here. I know she loves chocolate!”_

_“Ok!”_

_As we walked inside, it was like heaven. There was so much stuff to choose from. They had nuts and seeds, different kinds of chocolate, pasteils, florentines, sweets, dried fruits and berries, greek honey, coffee and teas. Bellamy ended up getting his mom a couple dark chocolate covered wafers and some dark chocolate covered hazelnut pieces._

_“I feel like getting her one more thing.”_

_“What are you thinking?”_

_“Maybe a piece of jewelry like a necklace.”_

_“I think she will really like that!”_

_“Me too!”_

_Before we went to go look for a jewelry store, we had stopped and had some lunch. After we finished eating lunch, we went to go find a jewelry store. We ended up finding this jewelry store called TonDc Jewelry. They sold an assortment of jewelry. We looked through many different kinds of necklaces before Bellamy settled on this one. It was a graduated jade bead necklace. It was beautiful. I just know that Bellamy’s mom is going to love it! Especially since her favorite color is green._

_While Bellamy was paying for the necklace, I was looking around. I came across the engagement ring display case and decided to look at them._

_“Hey, what are you looking at?” Bellamy asked while he was walking up behind me._

_“Nothing really just looking at all of their engagement rings.”_

_“Oh ok.”_

_“Is there anything I can help you two with?” a sales person said while coming over to stand behind the display case in front of us._

_I just smiled at her._

_“I was just looking at your different engagement rings you guys had.”_

_“Was there one you specifically had in mind or were looking for?”_

_“Not really.”_

_“Are you guys planning on getting engaged soon?” I was about to respond before Bellamy beat me to it._

_“One day hopefully!” I just looked at him shocked. He does realize that she was asking about the two of us together._

_“Bless my heart. You guys will make a beautiful family!” We both just smiled at her._

_“Well I let y'all continue looking but if you have any questions don't hesitate to ask. My name is Delilah.” she said as she was walking away._

_As she was walking away, Delilah had turned to take one more look at Bellamy._

_Some women have no shame. After she walked away, I leaned into Bellamy and whispered into his ear_

_“Why did you pretend to Delilah that we are together?” Bellamy just looked at me and shrugged_

_“What harm is it going to do? I doubt we will run into her again. Just relax!”_

_I wasn't convinced but I let it slide and continued to look at the rings until one caught my eye. It was a single stone solitaire diamond ring with a silver band. Bellamy noticed and saw the one that I was looking at. I pulled my phone out of my pocket and realized how late it. I motioned to Bellamy that we needed to get going. Once we walked outside, Bellamy stopped. He was hesitant about something._

_“Hey will you wait here? I’m going to run back inside and ask for a gift receipt just incase mom doesn't like the necklace.”_

_“I’m sure she will love it but I’ll wait right here.”_

_“Thanks!”_

_Bellamy went back inside. A couple minutes later he came back out._

_“You get the receipt?”_

_“Yeah I did. You ready to make our way back home?”_

_“Yes! I’m ready to relax.”_

_“Thanks again for coming with me!”_

_I just looked over at Bellamy and smiled and told him it was no problem._

_“You know when I went back in there and asked for the receipt, Delilah helped me out. You will never believe what she told me!”_

_“What did she tell you?”_

_“She told me that you and I make a cute couple and that she hopes that I won’t let you get away!”_

_“Really?”_

_“Yeah, she said that she just has this strong vibe that you and I are supposed to be together.” I didn’t respond._

_How do you respond back to that?_

_A lot of people have told Bellamy and I that we should be together, supposed to be together or that we have hidden feelings for each other._

_If everyone else can pick up on it or sense it then why couldn't we?_

_Are we that blind?_

_While we were riding one of the trains on the Arkadia Underground, I looked over to Bellamy when he was looking in the other direction._

_Was I truly meant to be with him?_

The next day while I was eating breakfast, I felt my phone vibrate. I looked at it to see who it was.

 **Raven:** Would you like to join Shaw and I along with Emori, Murphy and Wells for a karaoke night next weekend?

 **Clarke:** Is Bellamy going to be there?

 **Raven:** Not sure! He hasn't said yes or no yet.

 **Raven:** It shouldn't matter if he does come or not because you will have to face him at one point.

 **Raven:** So are you in?

 **Clarke:** Sure.

 **Raven:** Sweet!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for reading!


	9. Chasing Pavements

It was karaoke night and to say I was nervous was an understatement. I know that Raven, Shaw, Murphy, Emori, and Wells were all going, but I still had no idea if Bellamy was coming. We still haven't talked. So if he does come tonight who is to say if our little reunion will be good or bad. We are all meeting at this karaoke bar called Sanctum Voices. Raven had booked us all a private room. When I arrived at the place, I was directed to the back where our room was. When I walked in Raven, Shaw, Murphy and Emori were already here.

“Clarke, I’m so glad you could make it!” Raven got up from sitting on the sofa to hug me.

“Me too! I want to have some fun tonight!”

I walked over to hug everyone else. I noticed that our room was kinda small but enough to hold about 20 people. The room was painted red even on the ceiling with pink tinted lights. There is a disco ball on the celling. Along the wall facing the television is a brown leather sofa that wraps around the wall. On the wall facing the sofa is another wall that has a tv attached to the inside of it. On the floor next to the wall with the tv is a basket with different props that you can use if you want to dress up and also the microphones that will be used. This was a pretty neat place!

I went to go sit in between Emori and Raven.

“Is this everyone or are we waiting for other people to arrive?” I asked.

I was starting to get nervous that Bellamy might show up.

“We are waiting on Wells and that will be it.” Raven answered.

I’m guessing there was still no word on if Bellamy. A couple minutes later Wells showed up.

“Finally dude! Now let's get this party started! Who wants to go first? Emori? Babe? You wanna go first together?” Murphy asked while standing up.

Emori just shrugged and said yes. Murphy pumped his arm in the air because he was so excited. Emori joined Murphy by the tv and decided for a couple minutes on what song to sing. They finally picked one. The one they ended up picking was no surprise because it was truly their song. They were about to start when the door opened and Bellamy entered. He closed the door behind him and looked around. When he locked eyes with me, it was like a scene straight out of a movie. It felt as if time was frozen and it was just Bellamy and I in the room. The spell was broken when he went to go give Shaw a hug. Then he went and gave Wells a hug as well. I could feel Raven next to me give me a look that asked me if I was ok. I just gave her a small smile saying I will be. After Bellamy gave Raven a hug, he walked over to me.

It felt as if my heart was in my throat. It also didn't help that my mouth felt dry as well.

Bellamy looked nervous as well. 

“Hey” he said and smiled.

I shockingly was able to say "Hey" back as well. 

Bellamy letting out a small breath that he was holding and leaned forward to wrap his arms around me, so he could give me a hug. I could have sworn I heard him let out a contented sigh. It felt like everyone's eyes were on us. After he hugged me, he then walked over to Emori and Murphy to give them hugs and say hello. Once he did that, Bellamy went to go sit next to Shaw.

Bellamy looked amazing tonight. He was wearing a light blue plaid button down shirt with blue jeans.

“Thank you for actually coming Blake! We are so glad you graced us with your presence!” Murphy said in the microphone.

Bellamy just smiled and laughed and flicked Murohy off.

A couple seconds later, the song Murphy and Emori picked started to play.

Murphy started singing first:

**_Baby, when I met you there was peace unknown_ **

**_I set out to get you with a fine tooth comb_ **

**_I was soft inside, there was somethin' going on_ **

Then Emori joined in:

**_You do something to me that I can't explain_ **

**_Hold me closer and I feel no pain_ **

**_Every beat of my heart_ **

**_We got somethin' goin' on_ **

Out of the corner of my eye, I looked over to Bellamy. He was focused on watching Murphy and Emori perform. He had a small smile on his face while he was watching them. I then turned my attention back to them.

**_Tender love is blind_ **

**_It requires a dedication_ **

**_All this love we feel_ **

**_Needs no conversation_ **

**_We ride it together, ah-ah_ **

**_Makin' love with each other, ah-ah_ **

**_Islands in the stream_ **

**_That is what we are_ **

**_No one in-between_ **

**_How can we be wrong_ **

**_Sail away with me to another world_ **

**_And we rely on each other, ah-ah_ **

**_From one lover to another, ah-ah_ **

Emori was singing solo now:

**_I can't live without you if the love was gone_ **

**_Everything is nothin' if you got no one_ **

**_And you did walk in tonight_ **

**_Slowly losing sight of the real thing_ **

Both started together again:

**_But that won't happen to us and we got no doubt_ **

**_Too deep in love and we got no way out_ **

**_And the message is clear_ **

**_This could be the year for the real thing_ **

**_No more will you cry_ **

**_Baby, I will hurt you never_ **

I could feel Bellamy was now looking over to me.

**_We start and end as one, in love forever_ **

Emori and Murphy finished a couple minutes later. We all clapped. Murphy being the drama king he was started bowing. Emori just rolled her eyes, walked over to me and sat down. 

“How are you holding up?” Emori asked me. I looked over to her and just shrugged.

“I’m doing ok. Better then I thought I would do. It feels good to see him, but it feels like there is strange air around us now!”

She just put her hand on my shoulder “I’m sorry! You and Bellamy will get though this!”

“Thanks!”

“So who's next?” We heard Murphy ask.

“I’ll go” Wells said.

He went solo. He sang _Don't Stop Believing_ by Journey. After he went, Shaw and Raven went next and they sang _Way Back Into Love_ from the movie Music and Lyrics.

When they were finished, it was now time for Bellamy or I to go. Bellamy looked over at me, and it looked like he was thinking about something. He must have made up his mind because he then stood up and said he would go. He stood in front of all of us. He looked nervous. The song he chose started to play.

**_If I could be the reason your hair's a mess,_ **

**_The bass drum beatin' way down deep in your chest,_ **

**_If I could be the voice on your radio,_ **

**_Then I could be your long ride home._ **

He then made eye contact with me.

**_If mine could be the name that changes yours,_ **

**_The wine in your glass,_ **

**_The swing on your porch,_ **

**_The dollar in your pocket, and the peaceful in your sleep,_ **

**_Then I'd be what you mean to me._ **

I heard Emori whisper omg next to me. I wanted to turn my head and ask her why she said that but I couldn’t. It felt as if Bellamy put a spell on me and I couldn't look away.

**_Standing here,_ **

**_Watching you,_ **

**_Turning every head in this crowded room,_ **

**_The lights down low,_ **

**_Dancin slow,_ **

**_Oh, if falling's how you feel,_ **

**_And perfect is what you see,_ **

**_Then I'd be what you mean to me._ **

Once Bellamy was finished, it felt like the spell was lifted and I could finally look away. Emori turned to me and whispered in my ear.

“You need to pull him aside and talk to him now!” I looked at her confused.

“Why?” She gave me a serious look.

“That song was meant for you! He was singing his feelings to you!” I was about to respond when the door to our private room opened. Finn walked in. He was who I danced with at Bellamy’s party a couple weeks ago.

“Finn! I’m so glad you could make it!” Wells said and went to go hug him. I looked over to Bellamy and he didn't look happy.

After Finn hugged Wells, he went and said hello to everyone before he came and sat down next to me.

“Well hello there! Long time no see. It’s Clarke, right?” he asked. I smile at him

“Hello to you as well. Yes, I’m Clarke!”

“I have never been to one of these before, but it seems pretty cool!” he said looking amazing while he was looking around.

“I haven't either. I agree it is a pretty neat place they have here.”

I felt someone sit down next to me. I turned my head to see who it was. I looked into the eyes of Bellamy. I looked around Bellamy and saw that Emori had gone and sat down next to Wells who was talking to Murphy. Emori was on the other side of Wells and mouthed I’m sorry to me. Shaw had left to go grab another drink. Before I could say anything to either Finn or Bellamy, Murphy called to me and told me that it was now my turn. I ended up picking _Chasing Pavements_ by Adele.

I took a deep breath when the song started. I didn't need to look at the screen for the lyrics because I knew them by heart.

**_I've made up my mind_ **

**_Don't need to think it over_ **

**_If I'm wrong I am right_ **

**_Don't need to look no further_ **

**_This ain't lust_ **

**_I know this is love but_ **

I looked over to Bellamy.

**_If I tell the world_ **

**_I'll never say enough_ **

**_Cause it was not said to you_ **

**_And that's exactly what I need to do_ **

**_If I'm in love with you_ **

**_Should I give up_ **

**_Or should I just keep chasing pavements?_ **

I broke eye contact with him, and then focused my attention on everyone else till the song was over. After I was finished, I went to go sit back down next to Finn on his other side, so I wouldn't have to sit next to Bellamy. Luck wasn't on my side. Shaw had told Finn it was now his turn to sing. Finn then got up to take his turn. While Finn was singing, I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. I took it out and saw that I received a text message.

 **Bellamy:** You look good tonight! I miss you!

I looked up and over to Bellamy but he was watching Finn sing. I looked back down. I hesitated on what to say back.

 **Clarke:** Thanks! So do you. I’ve miss you too!

Bellamy looked down at his phone when he noticed he got a text message. He opened it and read it. After he read it, he looked up and over to me and smiled. I smiled back.

After Finn was finished, he came back over and sat between Bellamy and I. Bellamy didn't like that.

Finn turned to me and asked how he did.

“You did great!”

Finn smiled “Maybe next time we can go together!”

I was about to answer him, but I noticed that Bellamy didn't look happy. He was messing around on his phone.

“Maybe.”

“Sweet! So you seeing anyone?”

That question immediately had gotten Bellamy’s attention. I just shook my head “Nope!” I mentally added that the person I’m into is sitting on the other side of you.

“Seriously! A beautiful woman like yourself hasn't been taken!” Finn was shocked and stared at me with wide eyes.

“Yep!”

“I’m just shocked!” I just shrugged my shoulders at him.

“Are you seeing anyone?” I asked Finn. I saw Bellamy all of sudden tense up.

“Nope I’m single!”

“Really? A nice guy like you!” I was shocked.

“What can I say. I’m just waiting for that perfect someone to come along. Sure I’ll date now and then, but I know what I want!”

“What do you want?” right as I asked that, I felt a pull to look over Finn’s shoulder.

I locked eyes with Bellamy.

“I want someone who I can start a family with, someone who will be my best friend, someone I can trust, someone who will put up with my lame jokes, someone who when times get tough won’t give up and someone who loves me for me!” I broke eye contact with Bellamy and looked down to my lap.

I looked back up and smiled at Finn “That's what I want as well!” Finn just smiled

“I meant to tell you after you finished singing earlier, I was going to tell you that you have a great singing voice! Has anyone ever mentioned that before?” I was amazed. I was about to answer, but Bellamy beat me to it.

“Yeah! I tell her all the time!” I looked at Bellamy speechless. He has never told me that.

Finn turned to look at Bellamy “Really? She has this insane talent, but doesn't want it to be seen?”

Finn was facing Bellamy, but Bellamy was looking at me and I was looking back “I agree! She doesn't know how talented she is. Maybe one day she will see herself with how I see her!” I could feel my heart pounding.

Bellamy broke eye contact with me and told Finn that he needed to get some air. He got up and left. He was right by the door when my legs had a mind of their own. They decided to follow him. I walked outside the room and saw that he had his back against the wall leaning on it. He was also messing with his cell phone.

“Hey, what was all that back there?” I asked him. He immediately looked up and gave me a small smile.

“What do you think it was Clarke?” I looked at him confused

“I have no idea! You tell me?”

He starts shaking his head like he couldn't believe it. Then he looks straight at me “You don't see it do you?”

“See what?” clearly getting annoyed.

He was about to respond when the door to the room opened. Bellamy looked to see who it was and clearly was annoyed with who it was. He started shaking his head and looked away. I turned away from facing Bellamy to see who it was. Finn had walked out of the room and was looking at both Bellamy and I with hesitance. 

“Hey, I hope I'm not interrupting, but I was wondering if you would like to join me in singing a duet?” he asked. 

_3 Years Ago_

_Lexa my girlfriend that I dated for a year just broke up with me. She wouldn't tell me why. Only that she couldn’t do this anymore. I could feel the pain in heart from it breaking. Even the numbness that comes with it was there. It's the kind of numbness that hits you like a train and stays with you days on end. I quickly sent a message to Bellamy hoping he was free._

_**Clarke:** Hey, are you busy right now? _

_A few minutes later Bellamy responded._

_**Bellamy:** Hey there! No I’m not busy. Is everything ok? _

_**Clarke:** Not Really! Can I come over? I will explain. _

_**Bellamy:** Of course! Come right over! _

_**Clarke:** Thanks! _

_I drove to his apartment and knocked on his door. He opened it and was so happy to see me, but his smile dropped the second he saw that my face was red and my eyes were red and swollen from crying. He immediately pulled me inside, closed the door then gave me a hug. He rubbed his hand up and down my back. I stepped out of his arms to go sit down on his sofa to tell him what happened._

_“So she breaks up with you out of nowhere. She doesn't really give a reason. Just that she can't do this anymore!”_

_“Yep!”_

_“What an asshole. Did she give you any signs or clues that she was thinking about doing this?”_

_I thought about it for awhile, but then shook my head saying no._

_Bellamy took his hand and started rubbing my back to comfort me. We were both sitting on his sofa right next to each other._

_“Did she tell you in person, in a text message or did she call to say it?”_

_“She sent a stupid text message. She wouldn't even answer the phone when I called her to ask what happened or why. She kept sending me to voicemail. It seriously hurts because I had just spent the whole weekend with her. I even hung out with her friends when they wanted to hangout with her. Then today on Monday, she sends that bloody text message wanting to breakup. I just don't get why she couldn't do it over the weekend in person.”_

_“Did you guys get into a fight by chance? You guys have been getting into small minor fights lately.”_

_“No we actually had a great weekend other then hanging with her friends, when I had just wanted it to be the two of us! I feel so stupid! I wish I saw it coming or she would have wanted to talk about it. She always accused me of not being truthful, when in fact she was the one not wanting to be truthful!” I hid my face into my hands. Bellamy immediately pulled me into his arms._

_“You are not stupid! She is just an ass! She is obviously immature if she can't handle a break up in person. She took the cowards way out. You deserve better then her!” I got out of his arms_

_“I really thought she would be the one! I could see us having a future together but she obviously didn't see it!”_

_“I never saw that you guys would have ended up together. You guys always got in small minor fights, she never wanted to be fully alone with you and she never liked me!”_

_“What? She never liked you? I thought she did” I looked at him shocked._

_“Well, love makes you blind and she also put up an act around you.”_

_“I just don't get why she never liked you though?” I was trying to think of why Lexa never liked Bellamy._

_“She didn't like how close we are. She always assumed that I would steal you away from her or that there was something between us!”_

_“Why does everyone always assume there is something between us? Don't they realize that we are just best friends and that is all we are ever going to be!”_

_Bellamy grimaced and looked down at his lap “Yeah.”_

_“I’m sorry she treated you horribly and that I never noticed. I would have said something if I had noticed!” Bellamy gave me a half smile_

_“It honestly would not have mattered because she was also a master manipulator, so she would have just somehow turned you against me!”_

_“True! I wish I didn't care so her heartache couldn't hurt me. I hate that I miss that jerk!”_

_“That's the pain of heartache. You got to suffer the pain but knowing that something better is coming along makes it so much easier. I know you feel like you won’t meet someone else but you will! You are an amazing person and someone out there will be lucky to be with you!”_

_“Thanks! I just hope once the pain is finally gone, I will be able to find him or her! I hope that person isn't far!”_

_“Maybe they are closer then you think!” Bellamy whispered so low that I almost couldn't hear him._

_“What did you say?”_

_“I said maybe they are! You never know!”_

_I could have sworn he said something else but I let it slide._

_“Well, I’m not going to let you sit here and have a pity party. So what do you want to do? Want to watch your favorite movie here while eating junk food, actually go to the movies and eat junk food or we could go hang with Emori and Murphy?” I just laughed._

_“Lets eat junk food and watch a movie here. I’m not really up for going somewhere right now!”_

_“Junk food and watching a movie here it is.”_

_After a couple minutes of deciding what movie to watch we finally settled on a comedy._

_“Hey, while I’m putting the movie in, would you wanna go make the popcorn?” he asked me._

_“Sure!”_

_When I got up to go to the kitchen, what I didn’t see behind me was that Bellamy watched me walk into the kitchen with a smile on his face._

_Halfway during the movie, I had fallen asleep on Bellamy’s shoulder. Once he realized that I had fallen asleep, he took his arm and put it around me, so I would be more comfortable. Bellamy looked down at me sleeping and smiled. He then kissed my forehead._

_“I wish you would notice me like I notice you!”_

“So what do you say? Want to join me?” Finn asked me while he was standing in the doorway to the private room.

I opened my mouth to answer him but nothing came out. It was then that I realized that he wasn't who I wanted to sing a duet with. It wouldn't feel right if I did.

The only person I want to sing a duet with was Bellamy!

I looked back to Finn and shook my head “I’m sorry Finn!”

I turned to look at Bellamy to ask him if he would like to sing a duet together. When I turned to look, I could feel my heart sink. He was gone! I turned and looked around me, but he was nowhere to be seen. I peeked inside the room, but I didn't see him anywhere. I then left and went to the front to see if I could find him, but no such luck. I then headed back inside the room where everyone was. I walked over to Murphy and asked him what happened to Bellamy.

Murphy just looked at me and gave me a small smile. “He left. He texted me saying that he wasn't feeling good. He decided to head home.”

I could feel my heart beating out of my chest. I felt tears building in my eyes. I felt short of breath and needed to sit down. I took a seat next to Raven. I could hear everyone around me talking, but all it sounded like was a buzzing noise. I just stared into space.

A couples minutes later, I got up and told everyone that I was leaving. Once I was outside, I hailed a taxi and told them the address. After I arrived, I got out and paid the driver. I walked up the steps and went inside the building. Arrived at the door to the apartment and knocked. The door opened.

“Hey, can we talk?” I asked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for reading my story!


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